Ebenezer Gordon, the unconventional Director of the Ali-Dong Propulsion Institute (API), yesterday unveiled his agency's latest 80-foot high-gain antenna array to be used in extra-terrestrial research. The commissioning of the new complex—incidentally located in his backyard—was followed by an all-night party which disturbed the peace for miles around in outer Ganemulla. A specially outfitted jeep blared traditional folk music loud enough to instigate a mass-exodus of the local fauna.

Critics dismissed this latest announcement as complete hogwash and a mere ploy by Gordon to obtain better cable reception at his home at taxpayers' expense. They further charged that the local law-enforcement was in the pay of Gordon and had turned a blind-eye to the ecological damage caused by building the antenna and holding late-night parties.

Scoffing at critics and explaining his future plans, Gordon said that not only did he intend to put a politician in space by 2009, he intended to put the whole of parliament into space thereafter. He added that the World Bank had expressed interest in this project as means of eliminating waste and boosting productivity. World Bank officials did not immediately return calls seeking comment.

Gordon, who holds a Ph.D. in astrophysics and chemistry from the prestigious Brentwood University, has just returned from Kazakhstan where he visited the Baikonur Cosmodrome on a familiarization tour. His background in explosives stems from the early years of experimentation with polarity-reversed capacitors plugged into the national grid. He is now reputed to be investigating candle-wax as the next-generation propellant to be used by API in its ambitious space program.