The Google Reader and A Walk Through Durham Township

MOUNTAIN VIEW, California Republic -- For those of you who've not tried out the Google Reader, the time is nigh. This is a nifty web-based feed reader that has preset bundles (news, sports, photography, science etc.) to get you started. You can even star your favorite items and share them with others off a web page or feed.

The photography bundle is highly recommended. This is where I came across A Walk Through Durham Township, Pennsylvania, a photoblog by Kathleen Connally. She uses a full-format 12-megapixel Canon EOS 5D and here's a selection of her work:

• The Woot Shung Walking Stick
• Running the Combine at Dusk
• The Old Farmall 300 in the Dinosaur Shed
• Raking Alfalfa
• Picking Blackberries
  
• In the Pool
  
• Manfred's Herd

Of course, it's much easier to view all this in the Google Reader. Get in there! Microsoft evangelist Professor Gordon is advised to jump on the bandwagon before his Christmas stockings end up filled with Zunes—lumps of coal being more aesthetic and having higher market value. Not to mention heating value.

Three Years of Highly Defamatory Blogging

PANADURA, Sri Lanka -- During the last three years, quite a lot of content has been generated. The last highly inflammatory rant by Darth Teddy was the 500^th such post. Kahuna indicated that He would retaliate appropriately to the cuddly one's overactive imagination during the weekend. Fur, He indicated, would fly.

In the meantime, the much-maligned background quotation marks—generated by blockquote markup—have been consigned to the depths of the East River.

The label widget has also been added to the sidebar under the blog archive. Of historical posts, only the Unquotable Quotes series is currently labeled in entirety.

Dubious Activity Towards the South

BENTOTA, Sri Lanka -- Amidst several attempts to syndicate this news item we at BNN have finally been able uphold justice through this exclusive. As may of you are aware the Kahuna (Big) has been posting a number of dodgy pictures portraying furry rat-like creatures known to some of you as squirrels. However, we at BNN have exclusive behind the scenes footage (amongst very wet conditions) of what actually transpired during this R-rated weekend of "squirrel photography."

Two weeks ago on an undercover dining expedition with Kahuna (Big) by one of our star reporters, Kahuna let slip some very interesting information about an expedition that he undertook, under very wet conditions. This expedition took him 45 minutes away from his abode (which is also in the depths of the jungle) further into oblivion to a location aptly named Ben(d)tota. The general public thus far has been tactfully subjected to images of these furry creatures as a front to the actual goings on.

Our start reporter, DT we shall call him, almost fell out (or was he pushed) of the vehicle he was traveling in at the time when Kahuna revealed sensitive information to the effect of not, I repeat NOT engaging in this expedition alone. *Gasp*

In order to negate any further suspense we can now reveal that Kahuna (Big) did in fact engage in this expedition with a thus unnamed Molecular Biologist. Unfortunately, we were unable to ascertain the name of this biologist. However, we must stress that a very noticeable blush was released right after Kahuna (Big) uttered the word "molecular."

Of course there were strong denials that anything slippery went on in the space that was shared within this squirrel and biologist infested arena. This was widely expected as almost no one admits to a good time with fur and molecules together.

Unfortunately, no further information could be squeezed out of the now blushing Kahuna (Big) due to recognition of his blunder. We at BNN will however attempt to follow up on this exclusive and try to gain much more juicy information.

We must stress that other than obscene imagery of the furry rat-like creatures, no squirrels were harmed during this expedition, but unfortunately no guarantee can be given to any molecules or biologists in question. We hope you have enjoyed this breaking news and until next time... good night.

Unquotable Quotes - Part 29

That's why they call me the Energizer Bunny.

— Vandoofus, establishing his credentials.

No, no, my snake was played with a while ago.

— Darth Teddy to Kahuna, pleading no contest to snake charming.

Unbloggable content usually implies me.

— Darth Teddy to Kahuna, attempting to amass rights to all questionable content.

Do you want half-naked pics of Darth Teddy posted on the Circus?

— Kahuna to Vandoofus, lobbying for a private blog.

I don't want them posted anywhere.

— Vandoofus, vetoing Kahuna's bid for a private blog.

I see you're engaging in religious observances.

— Kahuna, noting Darth Teddy engrossed in premier league football.

Nonsense, your accusations are false: I never stopped.

— Darth Teddy to Kahuna, on being accused of being on the prowl again.

Your imagination should be put on a leash.

— Gordon, seething over Kahuna's latest defamatory posting.

You will note I am entitled to pay tax here, but not to vote.

— Gordon to Kahuna, taking a dim view of the land of the free.

Now all we need is to interface this with the ICBM guidance system.

— Kahuna to Darth Ching, proposing ballistic missile delivery to IP address using www.ip-adress.com.

Having an accident in the rain in a 150 mph device with a load of lithium-ion batteries could get quite interesting.

— Gordon, assessing the impact of a high-speed collision in a Tesla Roadster under wet weather conditions.

Will these batteries be made by the explosives manufacturer, Sony?

— Kahuna, querying the source of the Tesla Roadster's lithium-ion batteries.

Are you lighting the bonfires? No doubt you will be leading the cattle home shortly.

— Kahuna, seeking to implicate Gordon in an ancient Samhain ritual.

I have stockpiled chocolate.

— Gordon, announcing preparations for Halloween.

It is anti-social behavior to turn away kids that may turn up at ones doorstep by E Scrooge.

— Gordon's Halloween Principle.

If your identity was known, it would be law enforcement turning up at your doorstep.

— Kahuna's Corollary to Gordon's Halloween Principle.

As whom are you dressing up tonight? Or will you be scaring people as is?

— Kahuna, questioning Gordon's Halloween dress code.

Your broomstick license has been approved; keep out of the no fly zones.

— Kahuna, announcing FAA clearance for Gordon's B-82 Stratosweeper.

Someone should stick a broomstick up your ass.

— Gordon, proposing to deal with Kahuna à la Rumsfeld.

You will also note that capacitor polarities are clearly marked on the board.

— Kahuna to Gordon, pointing out significant safety features of the Apple iMac G5 midplane.

Like a nuclear winter.

— Gordon to Kahuna, on being asked about the weather in Tehran.

Did you try multi-party talks?

— Vandoofus to Kahuna, on being told of Gordon's refusal to negotiate.

Is that like an orgy?

— Kahuna to Vandoofus, on the definition of multi-party talks.

Oh, I was chatting with Gordon yesterday. He is still determined to pursue nuclear technology.

— Vandoofus to Kahuna, noting a breakdown in multi-party talks.

A Plutonium Delight?

— Vandoofus to Kahuna, suggesting a deadly dessert from Kim's.

Yeah, topped with caesium.

— Kahuna to Vandoofus, selecting a decidedly explosive topping for the Plutonium Delight.

We will go for option one, option two seems too easy.

— Darth Teddy, opting for the Sour Cream Apple Pie with Streusel Topping rather than the Ice Cream with Rum Sauce for dessert at Kahuna's.

Keep an eye on the tart.

— DCI Kahuna, instructing DS Darth Teddy to place an apple pie in the oven under surveillance.

I'm taking a break from females.

— Darth Teddy to Kahuna, announcing an abrupt policy reversal.

Squirrels might not have been harmed, but I'm sure a few were blinded.

— Darth Teddy, taking a dim view of Kahuna's squirrel photography.

Hogwash. I've always been armed with a pencil and ruler.

— Kahuna, denying Darth Teddy's allegations of not knowing when to draw the line.

It looks like they've missed the polonium while they were confiscating liquids.

— Kahuna, commenting on radiation being detected aboard British Airways aircraft after the Litvinenko affair.

Now you'll be frisked with a Geiger counter at the airport and all those Rolex watches with radium dials confiscated.

— Gordon, predicting an elevated level of lunacy in air travel.

Do you think my portrayal of Kim in KGM9 is Oscar-worthy?

— Kahuna to Gordon, eying an Academy Award for his role as an unstable despot.

It's interesting that none of your bungles are included.

— Darth Teddy, accusing Kahuna of expunging His unquotable quotes from the official record.

Would you like me to align Saturn in a more favorable manner so you can proceed?

— Kahuna, offering to move planets to mobilize a procrastinating Gordon.

Team Members Widget Operational

PANADURA, Sri Lanka -- Darth Teddy has crossed over to the dark side. Well, to the Beta at least. Consequently, the team members widget is functioning again and has been put back on the sidebar. It appears to need at least two accounts on the Beta to work.

Clowns should switch by logging into Blogger and then following instructions on the dashboard.

We're Back with a New Look!

PANADURA, Sri Lanka -- After a whole weekend of fiddling with the layout mechanism of the Blogger in Beta, we're back with a new look. New posts and changes to posts are now saved to the database and dynamically served on demand. The dreaded publishing indicator is no more. Yay!

We had to remove the list of team members because that wasn't being generated correctly with a link to everyone's profiles. We'll put that back once it's fixed. In other noticeable changes, the blog archive has a new format and we've got a cleaner overall feel. The Beta supports labels (tags) for each post (like in Gmail and Picasa). You can see them at the bottom of this post. A label list will be added to the sidebar later.

One other important change: a Google account is needed to use the Beta. According to Blogger, you'll be invited to switch the next time you login with your existing Blogger account. Holler if you need help.

Well, that's it for the moment. Do send feedback about the new interface. Happy blogging!

Welcome to the Beta

BOSTON, Former Massachusetts -- We've just migrated to the new Beta. Finally. Some more work needs to be done to switch from the old template system to layouts, so things may not work as they should right now.