Gordon Swept into Brouhaha over Broomstick

ALPHARETTA, Georgia -- Mysterious UFO sightings on the night of Halloween have led investigators to suspect crackpot inventor Professor Gordon's use of an advanced prototype broomstick.

The contraption, called a B-82 Stratosweeper, is understood to have been powered by an ion drive of Gordon's own design. Ion drives eject charged particles to provide thrust, but have been traditionally plagued with problems of low acceleration due to poor power-weight ratios. Gordon's drive appears to have overcome these obstacles.

The arch-mechanic had taken the Stratosweeper for a spin during Halloween, counting on increased seasonal air traffic to provide sufficient cover. However, a malfunction in the shielding of his ion drive had led to an electrical fire in the engine compartment. Eye-witnesses said that the broomstick did several loops and rolls leaving a trail of blue sparks and thick white smoke. Gordon's posterior had reportedly overheated during the incident resulting in him loosing control before crashing into a nearby wooded area. No injuries were reported.

The FAA said in a brief statement that Gordon was operating a broomstick without a license. An investigation is believed to be underway. Speaking to KNN, the local coven of witches condemned Gordon's new broomstick as "wizardry" and added that Gordon couldn't incant a hex to save his posterior. They threatened to take Gordon out in an aerial dogfight if his broomstick was not immediately grounded.

A subsequent search of Gordon's Alpharetta stronghold revealed the Stratosweeper disguised as a mop and hidden in a broom closet.

KNN will continue to monitor this developing story until the dust settles.