PYONGYANG, North Korea -- News breaking from Pyongyang early this morning has confirmed rumors of a sinister North Korean restaurant franchise: Kim's.
It is learned that nuclear proliferator Ebenezer Gordon has obtained exclusive rights to the franchise and plans to offer a delivery service to all continents other than South America. It is reliably understood that Gordon intends to leverage North Korean missile technology for this purpose.
Widely suspected to be involved in Dear Leader, Kim Jong-il's nuclear weapons program, Gordon has extensive experience in pyrotechnics ranging from polarity-reversed capacitors and missile technology to exploding carburettors. However, this appears to be Gordon's first foray into the restaurant business.
In an interview with Kahuna, Gordon outlined his plans and key challenges:
Kahuna : How is your franchise, Kim's?
Gordon : We're short of some key ingredients.
Kahuna : Enriched tofu?
Gordon : Indeed, and wonton wrappers.
Kahuna : What about the plutonium?
Gordon : That's in stock.
Kahuna : Not in one lot I hope X-(
Gordon : Stacked on top of each other :-P
Kahuna : You're making a critical error X-(
Gordon : Of course, the whole operation could go
sky high.
Kahuna : This could lead to deadly fallout X-(
Gordon : At least we'll have enough mushroom for
an entire region.
Kahuna : Your strategy is quite cloudy.
Gordon : On the contrary, we believe in atomic
transactions.
Kahuna : This could get quite radioactive.Analysts were quick to point out questionable safety practices and recommended that Gordon be subject to inspection by the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) before a "regrettable incident" occurs.
Gordon scoffed at his critics and announced plans to build a nuclear-powered automobile, taking over where Ford left off with their Ford Nucleon concept car of the 1950's.
KNN will continue to fabricate this developing story.
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