The Kahuna-Gordon Messages: Part 9 - Of Unbalanced Dictators and Emergency Services

PYONGYANG, North Korea -- What would happen if the unbalanced dictator of an oppressive regime called emergency services? Kahuna and Professor Gordon conducted research to find out. Here, Kahuna plays the role of the deranged dictator and Gordon, the dispatcher:

Kahuna : 911?
Gordon : Emergency, please provide your name and 
         address.
Kahuna : Kim Il-Jung, Pyongyang, North Korea.
Gordon : What is your emergency?
Kahuna : My nuclear weapon won't detonate.
Gordon : We can't find a match for you sir, is that 
         Kim Jong-Il?
Kahuna : This is an emergency, do you expect me to 
         remember everything?
Gordon : We've got a team on their way with a pack 
         of Viagra right now, sir.
Gordon : Your weapon will detonate.
Kahuna : I don't think you understand: I think the 
         plutonium I purchased is defective.
Gordon : Is that what you call it in Asia, sir?
Kahuna : How dare you insult the Dear Leader!
Kahuna : This is an outrage!
Gordon : You can't be as dear as you sound if you're
         soliciting Viagra.
Kahuna : You will need Viagra once we're through with
         you.
Gordon : There's no need to get abusive, sir.
Kahuna : Tchah! You'll probably turn up here without
         a Geiger counter.
Gordon : I'm told you have your own.

This production was inspired by a recent 911 call made by Professor Gordon. Emergency services responded in under than 5 minutes with one squad car, one ambulance and one firetruck. Clearly, they didn't trust Gordon with his description of the problem and decided to show up en masse. However, in their great haste, they forgot to bring a thermometer.

No weapons-grade plutonium or sildenafil citrate was proliferated during this production.