SRI JAYAWARDENAPURA-KOTTE, Sri Lanka -- In academic news, doctoral degrees in that most noble field of political science, are now handed out based on the prospective candidate’s oral aperture (measured in f-stops), vocal magnitude (measured in decibels) and MTBE (Mean Time Between Expletives) rather than intelligence quotient. Links to unsavory characters? Capital! Extra credits.
The incumbents of the Temple of the Monkey are eminently suitable for this honor bestowed by an institution that is, in retrospection not merely open, but gaping. Geologists believe that this level of openness borders on faulty and eclipses the Strait of Gibraltar by several orders of magnitude.
Gibraltar is incidentally, the home of the Barbary Ape (Macaca sylvanus), the only semi-wild monkey in Europe. Its completely wild cousins may be seen in their natural habitat – the aptly named Temple mentioned previously.
In related news, Professor Gordon issued a statement suggesting that the world's energy needs could be completely met if the hot air and greenhouse gas output of all politicians was efficiently harnessed. In hurriedly presented counter-proposals, Kahuna suggested that all politicians be flug into space using a specially constructed mass driver.
1 comment:
Amen to that!
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