Ah, I haven’t made a cake in years. Not since when I was in Sri Lanka. I made a cake for [the Confucius’s], but unfortunately it came out harder than rock.
- The Regulator, recollecting her early dabbling in culinary petrology.
Did you include Portland cement as a binding agent?
- Kahuna, launching an investigation into the Regulator’s cake mix.
It could have easily been used to globber someone – someone like you.
- The Regulator to Kahuna, proposing alternative use of her rock cake.
Clearly you were unable to follow a short recipe.
- Kahuna, taking the Regulator to task for bungling a cake recipe.
The best parts of learning are the stains.
- Darth Teddy’s Messy Knowledge Hypothesis.
I control the bananas in this republic.
- The Regulator, establishing her substantial credentials.
I'm off to a meeting – and to make more enemies.
- The Regulator, on what she does well.
It’s criminal to start a meeting at 0815.
- The Regulator, on the legitimacy of untimely assembly.
Plus there are people here who'll be happy to kill me, mostly the operators.
- The Regulator, justifying her reasons to have a short vacation.
My hand still hurts.
- Vandoofus, reporting a suspicious repetitive strain injury.
No, my balls are not ready to be pawned yet.
- Darth Teddy, declining to dine with Kahuna at the Hilton.
Mothers get along with me.
- Darth Teddy’s Mrs. Robinson Principle.
Isn’t it strange that flights operate 24 hours and ticketing offices don’t?
- Gordon’s Confounded Air Travel Oddity.
Can you help me find the Great Wall?
- Vandoofus, lost in China while Google sightseeing.
You might see some ice cream vans parked near the beach.
- The Regulator, announcing her banana republic’s response to B-52s parked at Diego Garcia.
Banana ice cream which almost tastes like Chunky Monkey® is a definite threat.
- The Regulator, disclosing the threat level of her ice cream vans to Kahuna.
A Vermonster will settle your hash.
- Kahuna, proposing to deal with the Regulator using twenty scoops of ice cream, ten scoops of chopped walnuts, four ladles of hot fudge, four bananas, three cookies, two scoops each of four toppings, a fudge brownie and whipped cream.
I thought I was fairly docile this time.
- Darth Teddy’s Docile Teddy Hypothesis.
You don’t have a docile bone in your body.
- Kahuna’s Anatomical Retort to Darth Teddy’s Docile Teddy Hypothesis.
UQ would be a total failure if it weren't for my selfless contributions.
- Darth Teddy’s Teddycentric Theory of Unquotable Quotation.
I will maroon you on a lonely planet if you’re not careful.
- Kahuna, charting a rough guide to Darth Teddy’s future.
If it ain’t in Wikipedia it didn't happen.
- Vandoofus, disputing Kahuna’s interpretation of Custer’s Last Stand as being when Lt. Col. George Armstrong Custer tried to stand and Sitting Bull made him sit.
How do I fix my cabinet file?
- Vandoofus to Kahuna, having bungled an installation of MSN Messenger.
You must hold a cabinet meeting.
- Kahuna to Vandoofus, having pored over to the Book of Apocryphal Solutions.
I’m now a lead [sheep][1] with subordinates.
- Darth Teddy, establishing his flock.
Are you suggesting you are some form of wide-area border collie[2]?
- Kahuna, giving Darth Teddy the benefit of the doubt regarding his herding instinct.
Not to mention a case of prowling bear, hidden anaconda.
- Kahuna, taking a dim view of Darth Teddy’s modus operandi.
I think it’s a personal best.
- Vandoofus, on sleeping in from 8pm to 8am.
Yeah, he was completely baffled.
- The Regulator to Kahuna, on the outcome of her anonymous nuisance call to Darth Teddy.
Yes later I did, while he was vehemently denying that he booked a seat to fly out of Colombo I had to laugh.
- The Regulator to Kahuna, on being asked if she revealed her identity to Darth Teddy.
[1] Darth Teddy made a sheep sound (in a Bernisdale dialect) at this juncture.
[2] As an interesting aside, the Wikepedia has this to say: Border Collies are extremely energetic and require a lot of attention. They are better off in a household that can provide them with plenty of exercise and a job to do. Like most herding breeds, they will attempt to herd family members, cats, squirrels, bicycles, cars, or anything else that moves in the absence of other charges.
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