REPUBLIC OF BOSTON, Former Massachusetts -- At an impromptu briefing held a short while ago, Kahuna announced sweeping changes to the Circus, suspiciously coinciding with the Ides of March. Calling the timing purely circumstantial, He downplayed rumors of resorting to brute force à la Junius Brutus.
Getting down to business, Kahuna proclaimed that the blog had been refreshed with an elegant new template designed by Google's Tina Chen. This, He said was one of the several designs launched along with the new Blogger Template Designer, currently available for Blogger in Draft. Kahuna claimed that He was pottering about with the widget template for most of Pi Day, which fell on Sunday, 14th March. He added that the fruit of his labors was best viewed in Firefox, suggesting that Internet Explorer was liable to make a hash of things.
Kahuna also took the opportunity to announce that He had acted autonomously and invited three new clowns to join the Circus: The Cheese Justice, the Admiral and the Genie. Brief, defamatory biographies follow:
The Cheese Justice: Well versed in the art of tort and litigation, the Cheese Justice enjoys a cultured dairy product or two when not defending her clown client, St Vandoofus. She is certainly not hesitant to feed him to savage wild animals when he gets out of line, which is most of the time.
The Admiral: With ballistic weapons, cacti and Haddockisms at her disposal, the Admiral effortlessly commandeers entire venues at a moment's notice, leaving the staff quavering in their boots. She conducts research in ichthyology during her spare time and is determined to make Vandoofus walk the plank into shark-infested waters.
The Genie: When he's not busy dreaming, playing chess or beating the crap out of people for the heck of it, the Genie operates a no-nonsense business model ("rub me and I shall give you wishes according to how good you look"). He is currently waiting for an excuse to pick a fight with Kahuna.
Closing his rambling keynote, Kahuna expressed confidence that the latest contingent of clowns would usher in a new era of buffoonery as never before seen upon this Earth. On that provocative note, we end this post.
Let the games begin.
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