The Circus: November 2003

Monday, November 17, 2003

BTWOKT X-( You have gone to great lengths to support illegal Unicode symbols. Might I remind you that it will be quite a while before you can write "pizza" in any acceptable form :p However, your use of the string constant ".|.." is unacceptable. It appears your thumb is bogus.

The previously blog( )ed camera antagonist code has been reviewed to be "QB" due to the following reasons:

#1. The #include statement expects a filename :
Yet a '{' is given instead, #include <nonstdio.h> or #include "nonstdio.h" is appropriate.

#2. The code is not International-enabled (Unicode enabled) :
That is, the so called approved code will not allow for "Fayannas and Zayannas" x(!
Your antagonism towards other languages is quite evident! x(

#3. Incorrect string constant :
One will also notice that the string "..|.." is to be replaced with the string constant ".|.." for obvious reasons, i.e. one can only see 3 clenched fingers when giving the finger.

Hence the following code:

#define _UNICODE #include <nonstdio.h> //Corrected Syntax #include <tchar.h> //For Generic-Text Mappings int main(void) {Issue(GetNearestCamera(),_T(".|..")); AHA(); return 0; }

Please note the approved camera antagonist code below:

#include {nonstdio.h} int main(void) {Issue(GetNearestCamera(), "..|.."); AHA(); return 0; }

Friday, November 14, 2003

Ah... this is the excerpt from the Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy I was looking for: it involves Sirius Cybernetics Corporation elevators and is hilarious :))++

MEGABRANTIS, Brantis-Vogan Cluster -- A press release from the Bogusan Empire today revealed a multi-bahzillion megabuck deal with the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation (SCC) for a comprehensive solution involving automated doors, elevators and vending machines outfitted with their Genuine People Personalities (GPP) feature. According to information from the marketing department of the SCC:

The corporation's 'Genuine People Personalities' make interacting with objects such as doors and teasmades a new and exciting adventure. Or very irritating, depending on your frame of mind. Doors will always open politely, and it will be their pleasure to serve your entrance and exit needs. Their Happy Vertical People Transporters - or Lifts - are fitted with the most recent precognition software, allowing them to be on the floor you want, before you know you want it!

A spokesmonkey from the Subhuman Resources division of the Bogusan Empire said this latest deal was designed to further infuriate employees and increase stockholder value. No comment was offered when asked to substantiate rumors that management was being replaced with trained monkeys and robots.

Their fundamental design flaws are completely hidden by their superficial design flaws - the principle to which is attributed the galaxy-wide success of the the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.

In retrospect, what Descartes should have said is "I think, therefore I am bogus."

Thursday, November 13, 2003

We will be taking a maintenance window for all surveillance cameras from 12:00-12:15 hours. Camera feed will not be available during the period and all employees are required to freeze in their positions to avoid activity that cannot be monitored.