Return of the Teddy (Rhymes with Jedi)

RATMALANA, Sri Lanka -- There have been rumours floating around in the past week that the infamous world traveller, none other than the Teddybear has arrived back in his native land. Rumour also has it that the Bear's arrival has been greeted by a mixture of open arms and evasive action. Well most of you will be thrilled to know that these rumours are a rumour no more but infact very true. We at BNN caught up with the Bear who by the way now answers to the name Darth Teddy following his recent transition to the dark side to take up duties as Angel of the Dark Side. The reason for this transition is still not known in detail, however a fresh set of rumours suggest a Geisha Girl of tritonian proportions may have groundbreaking answers to this very question. On questioning DT regarding this matter a strange reference to the oldie Any Dream Will Do and the popular flick Austin Powers: Goldmember were made. We are still unable to decrypt this comment and might have to refer it to the TRANSLTR [Digital Fortress] in order to get a clearer image.

However, DT also spoke briefly on his tour of England and Scotland with one Kahuna (Big) and stated that this was a most enjoyable two weeks. He was also thrilled with the fact that during these two weeks he was able to convert Kahuna (Big) to the dark side. More of this later on in the week. We also had unconfirmed reports that another member of the Circus had also made a transiton to the dark side, although a more conservative one. Information on this will be broadcast as soon as we have hard evidence, no pun intended.

DT has promised us that he will provide BNN with another exclusive interview on his exploits during his travels and also of his two week long tour with on Kahuna (Big). Certains points of this tour might be backed up with photographic evidence we hear, yummy... (clears throat) ... pardon me.

Also, we must warn you that there have been confirmed reports of escaped convicts that have seen prowling around Colombo. We strongly suggest that you go downstairs, lock all your doors and please always check under your bed before going to sleep at night. However to put your mind at rest a little the recent trend has been that these convicts have thus far only tried to gain access to Geisha girls which to be honest has apparently been a piece of cake.

Thats all for now, we shall be bringing you more exclusive interviews with Darth Teddy in the days and weeks to come.

And now for the weather with Ms. H.T. Unda-Da Colla...