MUMBAI, India -- Of all the great artistic works of this century the 12 Days of Christmas by Boymongoose is definitely considered to be one of the best. Its excellent cinematography, score and the shear literary marvel of the lyrics places the song in a class of its own. Despite critics' claims the work to be racist I think it is hilarious and should be nominated for the Nobel Prize for … something.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Squirrel Antics
Squirrel Antics (Copyright (cc) 2006 B Kahuna)
BENTOTA, Sri Lanka -- Squirrels frolic and pose for Kahuna at the Bentota Beach Hotel. More squirrel photographs posted to the Flickr Group Pool.
Captured on November 19th 2006 with a Canon EOS 30D (EF 75-300mm 1:4-5.6 III) on aperture priority. 
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Fence by the Water
Fence by the Water (Copyright (cc) 2006 B Kahuna)
BENTOTA, Sri Lanka -- A brushwood fence and hedge borders a pond at the Bentota Beach Hotel.
Captured on November 19th 2006 with a Canon EOS 30D (EF 75-300mm 1:4-5.6 III) on shutter priority (1/100th of a second) with a resultant aperture of speed of f/10.0 at ISO 125.
The Kahuna-Darth Teddy Messages: Part 2 - The Way of the Squirrel
PANADURA, Sri Lanka -- We now reveal a conversation between known squirrel-sympathizer Kahuna and Darth Teddy, a vociferous proponent of the anti-squirrel lobby:
Kahuna : In other news, I visited Bentota during
the weekend.
Darth Teddy : Ah, I see.
Kahuna : Indeed. The Bentota Beach Hotel to be
precise.
Darth Teddy : What for?
Kahuna : To photograph squirrels.
Darth Teddy : I see X-(
Darth Teddy : Completely bogus.
Kahuna : Now, now X-(
Kahuna : I have NB-complete photographs of
squirrels.
Darth Teddy : Nonsense, all photographs of squirrels
are bogus by default.
Kahuna : This is a highly contentious argument.
Kahuna : You will explain your thesis X-(
Darth Teddy : It’s not as argument. It’s a fact.
Kahuna : Nonsense, you do not have evidence to
establish an axiom.
Darth Teddy : Having to travel 45 minutes in wet
conditions to photograph rat-like
creatures is evidence enough X-(
Kahuna : X-(
Kahuna : I will take you on an expedition to the
Sinharaja to photograph leeches if you
persist with your thesis X-(
Darth Teddy : At least I haven't been there.
Kahuna : !@#$@#$#@$'
Kahuna : You're getting to be a handful early in
the morning X-(
Darth Teddy : You are engaging in bogus expeditions.
Kahuna : Bah! I have every right to engage in
photography of squirrels X-(
Darth Teddy : Indeed, I did not say that it was illegal
to be insane.
Kahuna : You're quite unruly this morning X-(
Darth Teddy : This is all your doing.
Kahuna : I think your anaconda is not getting out
enough X-(
Darth Teddy : I think yours hasn't gotten out at all.
Kahuna : That's what you think.
Darth Teddy : You might want to blog this conversation.The conversation become completely unbloggable from this point onwards and will be reserved for Kahuna's memoirs, significant chapters of which will be dedicated towards the antics of Darth Teddy.
No squirrels were harmed during the course of this production.
Araliya
Araliya (Copyright (cc) 2005 B Kahuna)
BENTOTA, Sri Lanka -- White Frangipani (Plumeria alba) in bloom at the Bentota Beach Hotel. Native to Central America, Plumeria is now found in tropical areas throughout the world.
Captured on November 19th 2006 with a Canon EOS 30D (EF 75-300mm 1:4-5.6 III) on aperture priority (f/5.6) with a resultant shutter speed of 1/400th of a second at ISO 125.
The Kahuna-Gordon Messages: Part 9 - Of Unbalanced Dictators and Emergency Services
PYONGYANG, North Korea -- What would happen if the unbalanced dictator of an oppressive regime called emergency services? Kahuna and Professor Gordon conducted research to find out. Here, Kahuna plays the role of the deranged dictator and Gordon, the dispatcher:
Kahuna : 911?
Gordon : Emergency, please provide your name and
address.
Kahuna : Kim Il-Jung, Pyongyang, North Korea.
Gordon : What is your emergency?
Kahuna : My nuclear weapon won't detonate.
Gordon : We can't find a match for you sir, is that
Kim Jong-Il?
Kahuna : This is an emergency, do you expect me to
remember everything?
Gordon : We've got a team on their way with a pack
of Viagra right now, sir.
Gordon : Your weapon will detonate.
Kahuna : I don't think you understand: I think the
plutonium I purchased is defective.
Gordon : Is that what you call it in Asia, sir?
Kahuna : How dare you insult the Dear Leader!
Kahuna : This is an outrage!
Gordon : You can't be as dear as you sound if you're
soliciting Viagra.
Kahuna : You will need Viagra once we're through with
you.
Gordon : There's no need to get abusive, sir.
Kahuna : Tchah! You'll probably turn up here without
a Geiger counter.
Gordon : I'm told you have your own.This production was inspired by a recent 911 call made by Professor Gordon. Emergency services responded in under than 5 minutes with one squad car, one ambulance and one firetruck. Clearly, they didn't trust Gordon with his description of the problem and decided to show up en masse. However, in their great haste, they forgot to bring a thermometer.
No weapons-grade plutonium or sildenafil citrate was proliferated during this production.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Sunday, November 05, 2006
The Tesla Roadster
The Tesla Roadster (Copyright © 2006 Tesla Motors, Inc)
SAN CARLOS, California Republic -- There's been a great disturbance in the force, and not merely the electromotive force. Silicon Valley startup Tesla Motors, Inc., has created an automobile that can only be described as highly disturbing. Here's what their website has to say:
The Tesla Roadster’s specs illustrate what it does (0 to 60 in about 4 seconds) — as well as what it doesn’t (zero emissions, zero motor oil). With one moving part in the motor, no clutch, and two gears, it’s not only a joy to drive, but to own as well. There is no motor oil to change; no filters, belts, or spark plugs to replace; no oxygen sensors to mistrust before an emissions test — in fact, no emissions test required ever. Other than inspection, the only service we recommend for the first 100,000 miles is brake and tire service.
The Tesla Roadster delivers peak torque at zero rpm, enabling disturbing acceleration rivaling that of a Lamborghini Murciélago:
How powerful is the acceleration? A quick story to illustrate. A favorite trick here at Tesla Motors is to invite a passenger along and ask him to turn on the radio. At the precise moment we ask, we accelerate. Our passenger simply can’t sit forward enough to reach the dials. But who needs music when you’re experiencing such a symphony of motion.
Ouch.
The Tesla Roadster is named after the Serbian-American genius Nikola Tesla (1856-1943) who pioneered the use of polyphase alternating current systems. Tesla, who has more than 1,200 patents to his name, invented the induction motor, Tesla coil, radio, wireless remote control and wireless lighting.
The car that bears his name is powered by a 3-phase, 4-pole electric motor with a peak output of 248hp (185kW) at 13,500 rpm. This also allows it to perform regenerative braking: when the brakes are applied, the motor becomes a generator and charges the batteries, thus recovering part of the kinetic energy that would otherwise be lost. It is powered by an array of lithium-ion batteries (not from Sony) and achieves full charge in 3.5 hours, sufficient for 250 miles of driving. Standard equipment includes a mobile charging unit (for the car, not your phone) and iPod interface. Disturbing indeed.
Unlike Thomas Edison who left a legacy in the form of General Electric and the many other companies that bear the Edison name, Nikola Tesla died forgotten and penniless at age 86. Shortly after his death in 1943, the US Supreme Court ruled that his patent had precedence over that of Guglielmo Marconi, effectively recognizing Tesla as the primary inventor of the radio.
It is indeed fitting that the Tesla Roadster was unveiled in 2006, the year UNESCO has declared to be the Year of Nikola Tesla, in celebration of the 150th anniversary of his birth. Tesla Motors justly concludes:
We‘re confident that if he were alive today, Nikola Tesla would look over our car and nod his head with both understanding and approval.
Gordon Swept into Brouhaha over Broomstick
ALPHARETTA, Georgia -- Mysterious UFO sightings on the night of Halloween have led investigators to suspect crackpot inventor Professor Gordon's use of an advanced prototype broomstick.
The contraption, called a B-82 Stratosweeper, is understood to have been powered by an ion drive of Gordon's own design. Ion drives eject charged particles to provide thrust, but have been traditionally plagued with problems of low acceleration due to poor power-weight ratios. Gordon's drive appears to have overcome these obstacles.
The arch-mechanic had taken the Stratosweeper for a spin during Halloween, counting on increased seasonal air traffic to provide sufficient cover. However, a malfunction in the shielding of his ion drive had led to an electrical fire in the engine compartment. Eye-witnesses said that the broomstick did several loops and rolls leaving a trail of blue sparks and thick white smoke. Gordon's posterior had reportedly overheated during the incident resulting in him loosing control before crashing into a nearby wooded area. No injuries were reported.
The FAA said in a brief statement that Gordon was operating a broomstick without a license. An investigation is believed to be underway. Speaking to KNN, the local coven of witches condemned Gordon's new broomstick as "wizardry" and added that Gordon couldn't incant a hex to save his posterior. They threatened to take Gordon out in an aerial dogfight if his broomstick was not immediately grounded.
A subsequent search of Gordon's Alpharetta stronghold revealed the Stratosweeper disguised as a mop and hidden in a broom closet.
KNN will continue to monitor this developing story until the dust settles.
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