Intercontinental Cacophony in Q Minor

NASHVILLE, Tennessee -- A conference call was misused under the auspices of Kahuna yesterday in an attempt at synchronized playing of the guitar between continents.

Sources familiar with the situation said that Darth Teddy in Watford and St Vandoofus in New York had rendered various pieces of music including Tears in Heaven and La Bamba while Kahuna listened from his lair in Panadura, Sri Lanka. The Bear had played an electric guitar while His Holiness strummed an acoustic version. It is understood that the duo were highly taken up with the impromptu concert and are exploring future collaboration in the form of a band, provisionally named Finger. The name is Vandoofus's tamer version of the original proposed by Darth Teddy, a self-confessed expert in form of digital manipulation envisaged.

Speaking with KNN this morning, Kahuna denied that He accompanied the duo with a foghorn, but admitted that in hindsight, He regretted instigating the conference. Kahuna revealed that Darth Teddy had become quite a nuisance to the general public since getting his paws on an electric guitar. He added that St Vandoofus had been mucking around with musical instruments for more than a decade and was mostly tolerated as long as he didn't sing. It is understood that the holy one was wont to perform in a hitherto unknown key à la Cacofonix.

KNN also learns that the musically-inclined Bartus Maximus, firmly ensconced at his Three Guitars Ranch in San Francisco also showed interest in yesterday's proceedings and had threatened to join the next session. The latex magnate was playing a round of golf in his boxers and was not immediately available for interview.

In an obligatory potshot at Professor Gordon, the arch-technologist was not available for comment, having disabled non-essential life functions to better integrate with his newly acquired Sony PlayStation 3. Analysts believe this to be tell-tale evidence of a widening rift with Redmond.

The title of this post was proposed by St Vandoofus who said that the guitar rendition sounded as if it had been keyed in the Q minor scale, also discovered yesterday.

KNN will play the developing situation by ear with mufflers on standby.