ALPHARETTA, Georgia -- Greetings good people of Earth and our esteemed alien readership! We're back with even more buffoonery after a short hiatus on account of the festive season. What better way to kick off a new year than with another edition of the redoubtable Kahuna-Gordon Messages?
Today we bring you a conversation between our two arch-clowns after Thanksgiving:
Kahuna : Have you gained mass during the
proceedings?
Gordon : Large quantities of turkey (Meleagris
gallopavo) have been consumed.
Kahuna : The wobble introduced into the Earth's
axial rotation over Atlanta led me to
suspect this.
Gordon : That might have been the Monster mucking
about near the Hoover Dam.
Kahuna : A likely story. I will resort to adding
the term "heavy" after your name in a
manner similar to the call signs of very
large aircraft.
Gordon : I believe heavy refers to the level of
fuel on board.
Kahuna : Er no, it refers to the wake turbulence.
Heh heh :-P
Gordon : X-(
Kahuna : [ROTFL]
Gordon : It'll be "mayday, mayday" for you once I'm
done with you X-(
Kahuna : Less chatter, Gordon 371 Heavy.
Gordon : Missile alert :-l
Kahuna : Indeed, you and gravity would be a deadly
combination X-(Plans to declare Gordon a wake-vortex hazard and enforce minimum separation for trailing pedestrians is believed to be well underway. Kahuna is also reportedly eying both the Monster and Darth Teddy as similar hazards, given their expanding girths. The Monster was not available for comment. However, Darth Teddy quickly dismissed the allegations against his waistline contending that he was "petite." Kahuna scoffed at the Bear's petiteness, pointing out that Obelix had resorted to similar tactics in the well-known Adventures of Asterix.
In related news, certain budget airlines recently discovered that a fully-loaded Airbus A321 was indeed too heavy to manually push back from the gate when ground services were suspended due to non-payment of dues[1]. While even clowns of average intelligence would certainly appreciate the folly in trying to thallu-start an Airbus using twelve able-bodied personnel instead of the more conventional practice of using a pushback tractor, room temperature IQs seem evident within the relevant decision-making bodies. Oh well, only in paradise.
On that note, we take your leave. Please note that no aircraft were manually pushed back during this production.
[1] "Mihin Aircraft Gets Thallu Start." The Morning Leader. 2 January 2008.
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