KINGTON, Herefordshire -- A few days ago, mysterious goings-on were reported from this quiet market town near the Welsh border. According to eyewitness accounts about a hundred sheep were seen forming an almost-perfect circle in a roadside field, causing great astonishment among the local populace.
While crop circles seem to be more commonplace, this would appear to be the first reported occurrence of a sheep circle. Very little is known about this bizarre phenomenon, leading Kahuna to suspect that dark powers were at play. This naturally led to a confrontation with Darth Teddy, who is coincidentally located a little over a hundred and thirty miles away in Watford.
Kahuna : Did you have anything to do with this?
Darth Teddy : Er no, crop circles are Gordon's
department.
Kahuna : That was my initial suspicion as well
but, the sheep led me in your
direction.
Darth Teddy : Er, I believe you are the one that is
dodgy with sheep, so I think this is
all your doing.
Kahuna : Nonsense, you are the one who mistook
one for a dog.
Darth Teddy : You are well known for getting sheep
in trouble.
Kahuna : That sheep in question was not burying
a bone.
Darth Teddy : In conclusion, I believe you are
responsible for leading these sheep
astray, or in a circle as the case may
be.
Kahuna : And you were attempting to accuse an
innocent sheep of falsifying the
fossil record.
Darth Teddy : Irrelevant; your sympathy towards said
sheep prove further that you are
leading them astray.
Kahuna : That's hogwash and you know it.
Bernisdale was just the beginning; I
should have paid more attention to the
signs. You are clearly the Sheep
Whisperer.
Darth Teddy : Ha! A weak attempt to hide from the
truth. Your attempts to lead sheep to
the dark side are well known. This
time the farmer's tractor just got
there in time I believe.
Kahuna : A likely story! Was the collie in on
this as well?
Darth Teddy : I don't know, do you have control over
them too?
Kahuna : I had nothing to do with this X-(
You're attempting to subvert this
conversation to cover your tracks.
Darth Teddy : Denial, the first sign of a guilty
conscience.
Kahuna : No doubt you offered the collie a bone
in exchange for its involvement.
Darth Teddy : Tut, tut, I believe the collie was put
under a spell by you before all this.
Kahuna : Spell? Are you accusing me of teaching
it a foreign language?
Darth Teddy : I don't know, did you?
Kahuna : Certainly not. It all fits into place
now. You've been blackmailing collies
to round up sheep in circles.
Darth Teddy : Anyway, enough of this sheep talk.
Kahuna : You can't speak fluent sheep anyway
X-(
Darth Teddy : And thus the final piece of the puzzle
as to who manipulated the sheep.
Kahuna : Indeed, the Dog Whisperer.
Darth Teddy : [SIGH] Make up your mind.
Kahuna : You were attempting to mislead us all.
Since you couldn't influence the
sheep, you got to the collie X-(
Darth Teddy : Yeah, yeah; your details have been
passed on to the FBI.Readers familiar with the adventures of Kahuna and Darth Teddy will recall a previous altercation involving sheep in the cat-infested desolation of Bernisdale on the Isle of Skye. At the time, Kahuna—who speaks fluent sheep—sparked controversy when He attempted to communicate with the some of the incumbent creatures. Tensions were raised further with Darth Teddy claiming to see a sheep burying some manner of ossicular trophy. The matter has not been satisfactorily resolved to this day and continues to be a bone of contention.
The anaconda keeper's motive behind the sheep circle remains a mystery, but is suspected to be nefarious. Kahuna vowed to get to the bottom of the matter and indicated that He will interview the sheep involved during the next few days. It was not immediately clear if He would be yapping with the collie as well.
No sheep were harmed during this production, although the collie did give them the eye several times. Darth Teddy supplied his own anaconda.
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