Punxsutawney Phil Delivers on Agreement with Gordon

GOBBLER’S KNOB, Commonwealth of Pennsylvania -- Notable meteorological groundhog Punxsutawney Phil made good on his agreement with arch-climatologist Ebenezer Gordon yesterday and extended winter by another six weeks. Phil saw his shadow as he came out of his burrow and sealed the chilly fate of the planet.

Gordon is believed to have bribed Phil in early 2005 and entered into a five-year agreement to extend winter. Although, Phil delivered in both 2005 and 2006, Kahuna is suspected to have confounded plans in 2007 by concocting inclement weather conditions at the crucial moment.

Speaking to KNN, Kahuna said that Phil's latest action was "regrettable" and vowed to counter Gordon's Global Cooling initiative by any means necessary.