ALPHARETTA, Georgia -- Arch-technologist Professor Gordon celebrated his nth birthday today, where n was reportedly a fairly large integer. The BlueGene/L supercomputer at the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory is believed to be busy solving for n, given the secrecy shrouding Gordon's biological age.
Kahuna hogged the international voice network a short while ago to convey felicitations and exchange threats. It transpired during the proceedings that Gordon was investigating the feasibility of building a bridge between the continental United States and Asia, given the rising cost of air travel:
Gordon (G): You see the case for my bridge now? X-(
Kahuna (K): This is a bridge too far if I ever saw one X-(
G: You are burning bridges X-(
K: Your span is getting me down; I should have you suspended X-(
G: You are stressed X-(
K: I'll have you gimbaled X-(
G: Don't make such riveting statements.
K: Would you prefer I get down to the nuts and bolts of this matter? X-(
Gordon's controversial plans purportedly involve the relocation of Iceland, a matter that may be met with some resistance from Reykjavik. Nonetheless, it is understood that Kahuna was not in favor of Gordon's bid to become the IK Brunel of the 21st century.
In unrelated news, it is learned that Gordon had finally added his posterior to Facebook, voluntarily. This comes in the wake of an identity theft master-minded from the Republic of Ireland several months ago. Powerful clowns from Ireland are believed to have hijacked Gordon's identity and added him to Facebook, causing great annoyance to the portly one. Sadly, the matter was settled amicably.
On that note, we end today's post.
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