The Kahuna-Gordon Messages - Part 19: The Way of the Coconut

ALPHARETTA, Georgia -- We're back again with another edition of the Kahuna-Gordon Messages, where we learn of the chaos perpetrated by Gordon in his latests nutty attempts at educating the populace of Georgia in the vernacular. To protect the guilty, we will refer to the protagonist behind this episode simply as 'P'. Translations are provided below for non-native language speakers:

Gordon (G): In other news, it is evident that P communicates using the YKMP protocol.
Kahuna (K): YKMP?
G: Indeed: Yanney Koheda, Malley Pol^[1].
K: Eh? Now what?
G: You ask it about X, it responds about Y.
K: @#$@#^$%%@#$@#$@#%@#$@#$@#$@#
K: Its L2 is corrupted obviously. You will thump it to reset its cache.
G: Indeed; I have updated the locals on YKMP terminology.
K: Oh?
G: Indeed; there was a mail forwarded claiming, "he's got coconuts in the bag again."
K: @$@#$@#%@#$^#$&$%$%@#%@#@#$
K: [FUME]
G: [ROTFL]
K: You're causing chaos X-(
G: No, P is.
K: You're nuts.
G: You're barking up the wrong tree.
K: An alavanguwa^[2] will sort you both out. Try translating that.
G: Potato bend?
K: Indeed.
G: Iti gediya.
K: Now, now.
G: Bambuwa^[3].
K: I will thump you with a visiketta^[4].
G: A manna pihiya^[5] might be more effective.
K: This looks like the proverbial monkey with the delipihiya^[6] X-(
G: You're attempting to cause kalabala^[7].
K: Oh? By Mawanella^[8]?
G: Exactly.
K: I should have eliminated you when I had the chance.
G: Mineemaruwa^[9].
K: Gas gemba^[10].
G: "Gus," I think is the correct term by Shell.
K: Bahu-jaathika buuwalla^[11].
G: Mee haraka^[12].
K: Uuru meeya^[13].

At which point, thankfully, the proceedings were adjourned sine die. No coconuts were smashed during this production, although, it is quite possible that the Anti-Pot may advocate such drastic measures in the coming months.

^[1] When asked, "Where are you going?" one responds, "I've got coconuts in the bag," demonstrating a total semantic disconnect between question and answer. In a Unix operating system, this form of behavior would qualify as a segmentation violation.
^[2] Literally, potato bend. A local species of crowbar used for drilling small holes in the ground or potentially, uprooting tubers or conceivably, rhizomes.
^[3] Literally a bamboo stem, used as an expression of annoyance.
^[4] Slasher.
^[5] Machete.
^[6] Straight razor.
^[7] State of disorder or, according to Gordon, a ruckus.
^[8] A small town in the Kegalle district, scene of communal riots some years ago.
^[9] Murderer.
^[10] Literally, tree frog.
^[11] Literally, multinational octopus. A slogan of choice often uttered by Marxist trade unions types during vitriolic diatribes against capitalism.
^[12] Buffalo.
^[13] Literally, pig rat. Refers to the Lesser Bandicoot Rat (Bandicota bengalensis) which apparently makes pig-like grunts while attacking.