Untimely Accusations Mar Unveiling of GITT Mk III

The Controversial GITT Mk III (Copyright © 2006 E Gordon)

ALPHARETTA, Georgia -- In news breaking from Georgia, crackpot inventor Professor Gordon has unveiled his new flagship automobile, predictably named the Gordon Industries Thirty Thousand (GITT Mk III).

The new vehicle will be replacing the Mk II, left behind in Asia during Gordon’s transit to the contiguous United States. At first glance, GITT Mk III resembles a run-of-the-mill Mazda6, replete with alloy wheels, Bose speakers and satellite navigation gear. This seemingly innocuous appearance, nonetheless, is rumored to be a sophisticated illusion created using a chameleon circuit acquired through dubious channels.

The true form of Gordon’s vehicle remains unknown, with some experts suspecting that it is indeed a disguised Caterpillar backhoe. While no definitive evidence has been established, GITT Mk III has on occasion been heard to make backhoe-like noises leading to speculation that its chameleon circuit may not be entirely stable. Gordon sought to play down these accusations saying that his muffler had merely sprung a leak.

Speaking to the media later today, Kahuna fueled further controversy by agreeing that GITT Mk III was clearly not what it seemed to be. However, He disagreed that the vehicle was a backhoe fitted with a chameleon circuit, suggesting instead that Gordon had stolen an entire TARDIS and not merely a chameleon circuit. The backhoe-like wheezing and groaning noises, He said was entirely consistent with a defective time-travel mechanism and could be temporarily corrected by percussive maintenance—a carefully calibrated thump to the main console.

Kahuna proceeded to accuse Gordon of unauthorized time-travel with the sole purpose of subverting the course of history adding that archeological evidence recently unearthed in Egypt show a remarkable resemblance between Gordon and the heretic pharaoh Amenhotep IV, later known as Akhenaten.

A livid Gordon shot back, denying accusations of heresy and pointing out that Kahuna’s recent visit to Egypt for the declared purpose of installing a known elephant in Cairo now had sinister connotations including, but not limited to falsifying the archeological record.

KNN will continue to provide fabrications of this developing story.