Bogusan Idol

ALPHARETTA, Georgia -- During a routine intelligence review conducted a few weeks ago, percussive taxidermist Professor Ebenezer Gordon discovered that known clowns Darth Teddy and Catbert had both secretly participated in what appeared to be an Imperial talent contest. Gordon promptly alerted Kahuna realizing the potential for enormous buffoonery. Kahuna agreed wholeheartedly with the arch-technologist's assessment of the situation and decided to refer to the contest as Bogusan Idol.

At his audition, Darth Teddy had performed Joshua Kadison's 1993 piano rock hit, Jessie. The BMI Award winning song echoes Kadison's turbulent relationship with actress Sarah Jessica Parker in the early 90s and also features their cat Moses. Gordon's agents succeeded in obtaining footage of Darth Teddy's performance and this was duly passed on to Kahuna. Eye-witnesses said that the Bear's performance was highly rated. Darth Teddy is believed to have crooned his way into many a heart in the past and Kahuna reiterated that allegedly cuddly one was a serious risk to female members of the general public. The Teddy Threat Level has consequently been raised to prowling.

Meanwhile, Former Reference Clown Catbert—well known in Gospel music circles—had re-invented himself as hip hop superstar LL Droov J and joined a group calling themselves the Deranged Bulls, or possibly the Rampaging Bulls. Accounts differ as to the precise name of the ensemble, but eye-witnesses agreed that strange hand gestures and hitherto alien dance moves were exhibited during their performance. Music industry insiders said the group should more appropriately have been called the Mad Cows.

Sadly, the rest of the world may never see the bovines in action: video evidence of group's maiden performance has vanished under mysterious circumstances. It is suspected that LL Droov J has used his considerable powers to suppress the evidence before it ended up on YouTube, thereby precipitating a potential Bullgate scandal. In what appears to be a crucial link, footage of the rapper's solo performance in the Bogusan Idol contest is also missing.

Kahuna held a press conference earlier today and commended Gordon's intelligence network for prompt action in gathering the crucial evidence. He added that Darth Teddy was taken by surprise when confronted with crooning in the first degree. The Bear was allegedly on a pizza sampling expedition north of the Sri Lankan capital of Colombo at the time. LL Droov J had been greatly alarmed when informed of the existence of video footage and had vowed that he would take all possible steps destroy the evidence. Although, the rapper appears to have succeeded, Kahuna said that He would be deploying a team of magnetic tape-seeking dogs to get to the bottom of the matter.

KNN continues to monitor this developing story.