Gordon Scurries Back in Time to Upstage Kahuna

COLOMBO, Sri Lanka -- Thanks to incessant heckling by Darth Teddy, Professor Ebenezer Gordon has been flushed out of his stronghold in Alpharetta. The arch technologist, who recently had narrow skirmishes with orange juice and tubs of Vaseline, had proclaimed his return by blogging a dimly lit photograph. This is thought to conclusively prove that he was indeed the Creature of Insufficient Light. In UQ27 it was reported that Gordon did not have sufficient brownie points to make Creature of Darkness.

Kahuna called a press conference late yesterday and alleged that Gordon had time-traveled to photograph an ancient lamp, thereby claiming creative precedence over His photography. Kahuna further said that Gordon had used his shadily acquired TARDIS, nicknamed the GORDIS (Gordon's Own Relative Dimensions in Space), to commit the reprehensible deed. The GORDIS has not been observed firsthand to this day; however, experts believed that the portly one had used its chameleon circuit to disguise the time machine as a innocuous everyday object. Kahuna pointed out that one need look no further than Gordon's flagship automobile GITT Mk III to discover the camouflaged GORDIS. Calls to Gordon seeking comment were not immediately returned.

Gordon's return has also lead to a dispute between Kahuna and Darth Teddy, with the latter claiming full credit—and payment—for flushing out the volumetric ornithologist. Kahuna has downplayed the Bear's role in the matter and threatened to make payment in latex futures. Sources intimated that Darth Teddy was not amused by these developments.

KNN will provide live coverage of this expanding story.