MEGABRANTIS, Brantis-Vogan Cluster -- A spokesmonkey for the Bogusan Empire yesterday reported of an unscheduled collapse of the suspended ceiling architecture in the vicinity of that fiendish master of crime, El Gordo. It is rumored that El Gordo was constructing a portable blackhole when the incident occurred. This device supposedly creates a gravitational field so powerful that not even management could escape. The ultimate purpose of this device remains shrouded in secrecy. Analysts, meanwhile, dismissed the whole idea on the grounds that space-time curving around El Gordo's considerable mass would have more probably triggered the collapse. Later that day, El Gorgo was seen huddled in the parking lot of the Bogusan Empire with latex magnate Simpsoni Bartus, reputed to have made it big in rubber goods. When confronted with this evidence, an enraged El Gordo spat that the whole matter was being blown out of proportion. Stay tuned for live coverage...