Unquotable Quotes - Part 1

He pops up like a gopher, says something controversial and disappears.

- St Vandoofus, commenting on the modus operandi and extended absence of Professor Gordon.

I wouldn’t mind entering parliament in that manner, preceded by a lightsabre in lieu of the mace.

- Kahuna, on learning that George Lucus had entered the ShoWest convention preceded by 21 Star Wars stormtroopers and an actor dressed as Darth Vader.

This buffet will self-destruct in ten seconds!

- Professor Gordon, on observing the banana-triggered Rube Goldberg mechanism rigged at the dessert buffet in the Coffee Shop of the Galadari Hotel.

We can probably start growing cacti at this rate.

- Professor Gordon, commenting on the oppresive heat after the vernal equinox.