Feeding Patterns of the Anaconda

COLOMBO, Somewhere in the UN -- Kahuna's recent obsession of large reptiles have aroused a direct interest from parties associated to these same amphibians in such a way that it was only thought fit to contribute to the obsession with some factual information. Augustus the anaconda has been under the spotlight of late in regard to his feeding patterns up to a point that Kahuna (Big) is rumoured to demand a weekly status update of its prey intake. Also, for the record the spotlight that Augustus has been under has a direct undeniable link to Kahuna (Big), hands wavering with age as the case might be. We feel for the clown, no we don't feel the clown, we feel FOR the clown.

Moving on to more enticing topics we travel back a few weeks to a fairly formal gathering in a area resembling a forest to bid adieu to a fairly significant member of a very bureaucratic pack of carnivorous wildlife. Considering the nature of Augustus's network of influential connections it was in little doubt that he too was a distinguished invitee. It might be worthwhile to note that Augustus due to a self enforced drought the previous month or so was definitely on the prowl. This can be confirmed by Kahuna (Big)'s well thought out interpretation of "Prowling Bear, Hidden Anaconda". For more information on this little sizzler please contact Kahuna on www.thatanacondaitellyou.co.uk. So, to continue, upon mingling with the distinguished guests and dodging an array of mud slinging towards Augustus brought on by his non-monochrome reputation Augustus was suddenly introduced to a little venison, lets call her Bambi. Augustus was his usual observant self, slowly sizing up this creature, assessing if it was prey material and when in fact this fact could be established. We mustn’t forget that Augustus was on the prowl therefore the default status would naturally be, "to prey or not to prey, this is always the question".

Augustus was then detained due to unforeseen animals requiring much sought after attention from the friendly reptile. However as fate may have it Bambi had an overeager companion that was adamant that Bambi get worked ... I mean get some work. Of course, ever helpful as he is Augustus offered to try and get Bambi worked, an invitation that was accepted with open arms by the overeager companion, lets call her Flaky. Therefore Flaky was bubbly, Bambi was happy and Augustus was in shock.

Augustus then left the gathering due to its increasing levels of boredom and went on the prowl again tasting immediate success in undisclosed locations. Upon calling it a night the ravishing reptile was peacefully heading home when lo and behold he receives a holler from Bambi, a prospect he thought had disappeared along with the night. Sensors back to full throttle Augustus worked his magic and according to popular belief and naturally accepted conclusions Bambi got snagged a couple of hours later.

3 weeks later ...

The feisty little venison that was looking for work definitely had a her wish come true in terms of ... indeed she did get worked ... and I believe this is an ongoing saga that both Bambi and Augustus are quite happy with ... For details on the level of commitment in regards to work the fact is that ... I apologise ... I was just informed that I cannot go into detail on the commitment as there might be a litter of lion cubs that use this space for educational purposes.

This was a small excerpt on the feeding patterns of Augustus which in time has known to turn into a feeding frenzy ... For further information please refer to the website mentioned above or inquire from Kahuna in person. We thank you for tuning in and until next time ... *burp* ...