— The Monster, on being accosted by Kahuna on Facebook chat.
Ask it to buy a dongle and stop whining.
— Gordon to Kahuna, weighing in heavily on the Vandoofus Bluetooth fiasco.
Are you on Michael Dell's customer support staff?
— Kahuna, unimpressed by Gordon's customer service mindset.
I can't find "safely remove"; I'm just going to pull it out.
— Vandoofus to Kahuna, confounded by Universal Serial Bus technology.
She must be up to something dodgy, like spending money.
— Huggles to Kahuna, on being told of Her Royal Highness roaming the city unsupervised.
Well, I'll put a stop to that from tomorrow.
— Huggles to Kahuna, vowing to personally impose sanctions on Her Royal Highness.
I was told yesterday that you were the topic of discussion at the last dinner: specifically, parts of your anatomy.
— Kahuna, informing Huggles of an explicit dinnertime conversation in absentia.
You know Timmy and Teddy, mind in the bloody gutter.
— Huggles to Kahuna, unsurprised at being the main course.
Everybody misses me, I feel so special.
— Huggles to Kahuna, basking in the afterglow of undue attention.
Some of them are after specific parts of you.
— Kahuna, warning Huggles of underhand moves.
Has the butler assumed power yet?
— Kahuna to Vandoofus, eagerly awaiting the Butlerian Jihad.
The butler is ironing my shirt as we speak.
— Vandoofus to Kahuna, announcing an unexpected delay in the revolution.
He might bean you with a rolling pin later.
— Kahuna, in hope of a desirable outcome in the power struggle between Vandoofus and his butler.
I am in an undisclosed location.
— Vandoofus to Kahuna, confessing on emulating Dick Cheney to avoid Huggles.
I'm sure Huggles will find you; You'd better buy some doughnuts to distract him.
— Kahuna to Vandoofus, proposing devious toroidal countermeasures.
Teddy has a habit of grabbing him in the doughnuts.
— Kahuna to Vandoofus, warning of Darth Teddy getting physical with Huggles.
You're spending way too much time in her chambers.
— Kahuna, disapproving of Vandoofus constantly consulting with his lawyer.
I need a lot of legal advice.
— Vandoofus, in his own defense.
You should slow down at your age.
— Kahuna, warning Vandoofus of the perils of excessive legal counsel.
My God!
— Darth Ching, encountering Kahuna armed with a camera in church.
I will have you replaced by a robot if you don't tone it down; preferably a lighter model.
— Kahuna's Lightweight Droid Solution to the Existential Gorden Problem.
I could have you replaced by a garden gnome and no one would notice the difference.
— Gorden's Gnome Equivalence Hypothesis to Dislodge Kahuna.
In your case the difference would become obvious as the refrigerator alarm will not sound at midnight.
— Kahuna's Midnight Snack Retort to Gorden's Gnome Equivalence Hypothesis.
Bastard!
— Kahuna, reacting in no uncertain terms to Vandoofus acquiring a new Macbook.
I will let you play with it.
— Vandoofus to Kahuna, adding insult to injury.
Do you know how to use it?
— Kahuna, taking a dim view of Vandoofus's technological savvy.
I might just run Windows VM.
— Vandoofus, confirming Kahuna's fears with his plans to slow down Mac OS X.
Are you sure you spelt that out correctly?
— Huggles, learning of Kahuna's intent to walk.
Yes, I'm sure, you pervert!
— Kahuna, in his own defense.
Yeah, I was thinking of you while walking.
— Kahuna, on being asked by Huggles if he was missed.
I knew it, it was misspelt.
— Huggles to Kahuna, fearing the worst.
I'm going to shave and shower now and maybe spell correctly.
— Kahuna to Huggles, revealing His morning ablutions in unnecessary detail.
Just because your butler imposes an early dinner regime doesn't mean the rest of us have to fall in line.
— Kahuna to Vandoofus, on being told that His dinnertime was late.
Is this some sort of an attempt at a cardio activity?
— Vandoofus, questioning the motive behind Kahuna's plan to walk at 4 am.
No, it's an attempt at surprising the neighborhood rooster.
— Kahuna, peeved at Vandoofus questioning the obvious.
Are you going to engage in sexual activity with the rooster?
— Vandoofus, plotting to implicate Kahuna in a clandestine tryst.
Don't talk cock.
— Kahuna, dismissing Vandoofus's feather-brained fantasy.
Why can't you just eat roast paan and parippu like normal people?
— Vandoofus, expressing irritation at Kahuna constructing a seafood cannelloni.
You seem to have grown quite attached to Huggles.
— Kahuna, observing Vandoofus hobnobbing with Huggles.
That's just the cover.
— Vandoofus to Kahuna, hinting at a more nefarious plan.
Their current location is unknown, but probably involves a bed.
— Kahuna to the Baroness, on the whereabouts of Vandoofus and his lawyer.
From what I hear, their trip planning was a bit dodgy.
— The Baroness, reviewing intelligence reports of the Vandoofus Expedition with Kahuna.
Did you doubt my navigation skills?
— Vandoofus, on Kahuna's surprise at the return of his dodgy expedition.
I'm online with London regarding said skills, or lack thereof.
— Kahuna to Vandoofus, admitting to spying for the Baroness.
You can't refer to your husband in the manner reserved for MI6.
— Kahuna, objecting to the Baroness referring to the Baron solely by letter.
