Off-Shore Circus Held in Singapore

SINGAPORE -- Having returned from the Orient yesterday, Kahuna reported that his journey was mostly uneventful. Sources close to the situation, however, disagreed charging that Kahuna had met with Huggles and the Menace—aka Her Royal Highness—to perpetrate an inaugural, off-shore circus. They added that three clowns was the acceptable quorum required to hold a legitimate circus.

It was revealed that Huggles and the Menace had invaded Kahuna’s hotel room in the dead of the night prior to the trio committing various acts of excess along the length of Orchard Road. Eye-witnesses recalled a dubious incident involving a hot apple crumble and further buffoonery involving an elevator at the proposed commencement activities of Batman. It is believed that a waitperson was also jostled in the rear by Huggles during the night’s proceedings.

Yet more buffoonery was evidenced two days later at the Funan Digital Life Mall—having since been upgraded from a mere IT mall. Of particular note were those activities that took place at the premises of John 3:16 where Kahuna yielded to temptation and acquired a Sony HVL-F32X flash to consolidate his position as a photographic menace. A high point of the day took place when a Chinese cabby, having ascertained the country of origin of his passengers, proceeded to declare one Solomon of the long and mostly non-native name to be B-complete.

Having toured the Orient, the trio returned home on Friday, Kahuna utilizing a Boeing 777-300 operated by Emirates for the purpose. The aircraft was found to be equipped with rather conspicuously branded Rolls-Royce Trent 800 series engines, each capable of delivering 90,000 lbs of thrust. These were found attached to the wings in accordance with the manufacturer’s guidelines.

Upgraded in-flight diversion options included video-on-demand to each seat, seat-to-seat telephony, SMS and email. Had it not been for high levels of fatigue on the part of Kahuna, GSM-evangelist Professor Gordon would have received a short message originating at cruise altitude. Attempts to watch The Phantom of the Opera as recommended by the Teddybear were foiled by constant intervention of the cabin crew intent on serving some item of chow. Kahuna finally succumbed to sleep while the Music of the Night was disturbingly rendered over the drone of the engines operating in high-bypass mode.

Upon landing at Colombo, the cascade-type thrust reverser of the right engine was observed in operation (pictured here on a similar aircraft).

The Gordon threat level during the past week was found to be considerably lower than forecast, with the false prophet lying inexplicably low. An imminent Huggles threat level (to St Vandoofus) has been forecast for the next week with the serial hugger expressing clear intent to hug at first sight.