"Flash" Gordon Weighs In With New Persona

GANEMULLA, Sri Lanka -- In unexpected developments breaking from the desolation of Ganemulla, arch-climatologist Professor Gordon has unilaterally declared himself to be "Flash" Gordon. This is believed to be a publicity stunt by the portly one to widen his profile and share of voice.

According to sources familiar with the situation, "Flash" Gordon is already involved in a property dispute over the planet Bungo with arch-nemesis Ching the Merciless. Both parties had apparently refused to budge from their respective stands.

Speaking to the press this morning, Kahuna proposed that a negotiated settlement should be arrived at through a joint mechanism [ekaabadda yanthraya]. He added that this was possible by joining the two factions in series to the high-voltage side of a large transformer. Political analysts mused that while this was a controversial method, Kahuna may be attempting proof by induction.

"Flash" Gordon was not available for comment, having absconded from imperial business today to retrieve Claudius, his Chief of Staff who was stranded on the roof of his rural hideout. It is believed that Claudius may have been carrying out a roof inspection at the time of the incident. Hasty attempts by "Flash" Gordon to rig a Precision Approach Path Indicator (PAPI) using a Class II laser pointer and entice Claudius have resulted in chaos with extraneous cats responding to the projection. The situation remained unresolved at the time of blogging.

KNN will provide live coverage of this developing story.