Happy Birthday Teddybear! Hump!

The universal hump symbol (Copyright 2004 © B Kahuna)

BRIGHTON, United Kingdom -- The Teddybear, who celebrates his 25^th birthday today was awoken from slumber in the not-so-early hours by none other than Kahuna. The international PSTN was misused for this purpose. It is reported that other large clowns including a powerful hotel baroness known for double-charging customers and buffoon roommates had made nuisances of themselves in the small hours of the morning.

These latest acts of clown come hot on the heels of earlier buffoonery when Kahuna's global logistics empire arranged the delivery of unmarked packages to the unsuspecting Teddybear, who was unwise enough to open them in the company of his roommates. The slippery situation that arose was, however, subsequently stabilized gyroscopically. It is understood that a battery, which was not included, had also been instrumental in salvaging the potentially shaky circumstances. A frictionless and amicable state of affairs had been restored by the time of writing and some of the more controversial items have been locked away.

Speaking to the media today, Kahuna accepted responsibility for the buffoonery, but hinted that the hotel baroness may have been involved in the plot, hatched under the cover of darkness. It is widely suspected that crackpot inventor and climatologist, Professor Gordon was also knowledgeable about the plans.

Reiterating sentiments in greeting cards shipped out of the continental United States, the Circus wishes the Teddybear a very happy birthday with lots of tickles, rubs, squeezes, spanks, smooches, hugs, licks and bites.

The Teddybear was unavailable for comment, having absconded for cricket practice. The possibility of an orgy tonight, however, has not been completely ruled out.