MARINA DEL REY, California Republic -- Crackpot inventor Professor Ebenezer Gordon and Energizer Bunny contender Darth Teddy recently proposed a mechanism for securely exchanging birthday greetings over the Internet. The Gordon-Teddy Birthday Greeting Protocol (GTBGP) is an application-layer protocol that operates on top of the Transmission Control Protocol (TCP).
KNN learns that the GTBGP was first tested on Darth Teddy's birthday with explicitly spectacular results that exceeded all expectations:
Gordon : Ado! [SYN]
Darth Teddy : Hooo! [SYN-ACK]
Gordon : Felicitations. [SYN-ACK-GREET]
Darth Teddy : Spank you. [SPANK]
Gordon : Happy bitchday, O clown. [BITCH]
Darth Teddy : Come to papa, slut. [OUT-BITCH]In an interview with KNN, Gordon said that GTBGP was a robust, but flexible protocol that supported an unlimited number of [BITCH] and [OUT-BITCH] sequences. The arch-technologist further stated that he would be publishing an Internet Draft shortly. Darth Teddy added that he was already working on a physical-layer implementation of the protocol, but declined to elaborate on the mechanical specification of the interconnect.
In a later press conference convened to bitch about the state of the planet, Kahuna questioned the need for a physical-layer implementation pointing out that He had long ago mastered this. He was quick to add that Gordon, Darth Teddy and others had already been at the receiving end of physical-layer buffoonery including, but not limited to carnivorous plants, premium ice cream, suspicious reading matter and other unmentionable objects with a very low coefficient of dynamic friction.
Kahuna charged that the cuddly one was using this opportunity as an excuse to get physical with all and sundry. Darth Teddy dismissed Kahuna's allegations stating that his proposed implementation would be cuddlier and longer-lasting. Fellow Energizer Bunny hopeful, St Vandoofus was not available for comment.
On that highly contentious note, we end this post. Hasta la vista, baby!
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