ALPHARETTA, Georgia -- The fallout from Darth Teddy's performance of Jessie at the Bogusan Idol contest continues. On the eve of the nuptials between the Baroness and the Ex-Dictator, Kahuna and Professor Gordon had one of their infamous conversations. This time, it was sparked off by a discussion about the cat Moses. The discussion rambled through recent spam received by Gordon and Kahuna's attire for the wedding before degenerating into a cheesy, late-night infomercial offering multi-protocol, transport-independent prayer in a heterogeneous environment. Read on:
Kahuna : Why would anyone name a cat Moses? X-(
Gordon : Speaking of which, Mrs Moses contacted me.
Kahuna : Mrs Moses? X-(
Gordon : You have to read this X-(Kahuna : Oh she's prayed over your email address.
Bless your soul X-(
Gordon : Indeed.
Gordon : I didn't know Sierra Leone was co.jp X-(
Kahuna : Heh heh. I've heard it all now.
Gordon : Exactly. Will you be praying over your email
address?
Kahuna : I will be praying for your soul.
Kahuna : You will now provide inputs to my attire:
1. Dark red shirt + red tie.
2. Gray striped shirt + silver tie.
Gordon : You will swap(ties, shirts).
Kahuna : Red shirt + silver tie? X-(
Gordon : Indeed or the other combination.
Gordon : The tie is meant to contrast, not be
camouflaged X-(
Kahuna : Now, now.
Kahuna : Your contribution rate to UQ31 is quite high
tonight X-(
Kahuna : Actually, the red shirt + silver tie looks
good.
Gordon : Indeed.
Kahuna : Will you bless this attire?
Gordon : Indeed, and I will pray over your FTP server
as well.
Kahuna : For what reason? X-(
Gordon : An added bonus.
Kahuna : Is this a one-time, never to be repeated
special offer?
Gordon : That's right, but call now and we'll add a
weekly prayer over your SAN for free.
Kahuna : Praise the lord. Are your operators standing
by?
Gordon : Absolutely.
Kahuna : Do I get a money-back guarantee if I'm not
satisfied with your prayer?
Gordon : Yes a full refund, and we will pray that you
come to your senses as well.
Kahuna : But what if your prayer is incompatible with
my SAN switch?
Gordon : It's guaranteed to be compatible: one million
satisfied idiots can't be wrong.
Kahuna : Herne protect us!On that somewhat Pagan note, we end this story. Contrary to popular belief, the Red Sea was not partitioned during these proceedings; Gordon merely experimented in his bathtub. We must emphasize that the resulting overflow caused only a minor flood.
9 comments:
For those of you who are curious about Mrs Moses's missive to Gordon, we reproduce it below:
BELOVED.
GREETINGS IN THE NAME OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST. I AM MRS CELINA MOSES FROM SIERRA LEONE, A WIDOW TO LATE RICHARD MOSES I AM 55 YEARS OLD, I AM NOW A NEW CHRISTAIN CONVERT, SUFFERING FROM LONG TIME CANCER OF THE BREAST, FROM ALL INDICATION MY CONDITION IS REALLY DETERIORATING AND IT IS QUITE OBVIOUS THAT I WON'T LIVE MORE THAN 2 MONTHS, ACCORDING TO MY DOCTORS, THIS IS BECAUSE THE CANCER STAGE HAS GOTTEN TO A VERY WORST STAGE.
MY LATE HUSBAND AND MY ONLY CHILD DIED LAST FIVE YEARS ,HIS DEATH WAS POLITICALY MOTIVATED. MY LATE HUSBAND WAS A VERY RICH AND WEALTHY BUSINESS MAN WHO WAS RUNING HIS GOLD AND DIAMOND BUSINESS SIERRA LEONE AND AFTER HIS DEATH, I INHERITED ALL HIS BUSINESS AND WEALTH. MY DOCTORS HAS ADVISED ME THAT I MAY NOT LIVE FOR MORE THAN 2 MONTHS, SO I NOW DECIDED TO DIVIDE THE PART OF THIS WEALTH, TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE CHURCH IN AFRICA, AMERICA,ASIA,AND EUROPE. I COLLECTED YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS DURING MY DESPERATE SEARCH ON THE INTERNET AND I PRAYED OVER IT.
I DECIDED TO DONATE THE SUM OF $6,500.000.00USD( SIX MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS) TO THE LESS PRIVILEDGED BECAUSE I CANNOT TAKE THIS MONEY TO THE GRAVE. PLEASE I WANT YOU TO NOTE THAT FUND IS LODGED IN A BANK IN IVORY COAST IN WEST AFRICA WHICH IS THE COUNTRY WHERE I AM CURRENTLY RECEIVING TREATMENT.
ONCE I HEAR FROM YOU, I WILL FORWARD TO YOU ALL THE INFORMATIONS YOU WILL USE TO GET THIS FUND RELEASED FROM THE BANK AND TO BE TRANSFERRED TO YOU. I HONESTLY PRAY THAT THIS MONEY WHEN TRANSFERRED TO YOU,WILL BE SURE FOR THE SAID PURPOSE, BECAUSE I HAVE COME TO FIND OUT THAT WEALTH ACQUISITION WITHOUT CHRIST IS VANITY. MAY THE GRACE OF OUR LORD JESUS THE LOVE OF GOD AND THE FELLOWSHIP OF GOD BE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. SEND YOUR RESPOND TO MY PRIVATE EMAIL ON: [embargoed]
YOUR SISTER IN CHRIST.
MRS CELINA MOSES.
I object and I reserve my right ot take legal action against the "attire". This is mainly due to the fact that the decided combination of shirt + tie was originally recommended by Darth Teddy. This was done a good 36 hours before foreign aid was sanctioned X-(
This is a gross example of by passing home-grown talent and wasting national income on hightly overated and not to mention ridiculously expensive foregin aid.
Bah! Now you're overreacting. Besides, I thought your talent was usually demonstrated under covers X-(
How do you think I get there? By dressing like a slob? I think not ...
Are you suggesting that I dress like a slob? X-(
Now now ... lets not make this about you ... you were discussing the under-cover protocol ...
Oh you've elevated it to a protocol now? I will deal with you more fully in another post with appropriate lyrics.
Very well ... until then ...
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