Monday, November 01, 2004

Shattering News: Hitler Liveth?

BERLIN, Ghana -- In shattering news today, a rather unasuming, mild mannered Mr Kent has reported on the daily planet on a plot to spread Nazism to every corner of the world. It has been noted that our very own Kahuna(big) has aided in this investigation by monitoring sensitive events on the web, which spins wide across the world, from his blogopolis (Although this is an illegal activity, due to the severity of the situation, kahuna has been subjected to a nominal punishment of 10 cuddles from Teddy (Kahuna has apparently passed out in pleasure at the time of writing and was unavailable for comment)).

It has been unearthed that certain parts of Africa seem to be missing from the world wide web and have been replaced by networks from Germany. The seductive yet thoroughly professional Ms Lane has been dispatched to uncover the truth and it is rumored that a certain member of the circus is awaiting impatiently for her to get to the bottom of this.

It is unclear at this time who is responsible, but interestingly, investigations have confirmed that Professor Gordon's middle name happens to be Adolf. The Empire has also stated that the increased activity on the Blogopolis may be a distractive ploy and are conducting investigations into the possibility of accomplices among the bloggers.

Citizens are advised to stay on their toes*. Danger could strike anywhere...anytime... Boston and Brighton are already suspected to be overcome by this large menace.

The Allies are mobilising their armies even as we speak but reports confirm that the Commander in Chief of the Bogus States of America has, surprisingly, already stated an end to major combat.

We shall keep you informed as events unfold.

*A recent survey has determined that ballet dancers have a life span much longer than others.

18 comments:

Darth Teddy said...

Huggles !!!! Huggles !!!! Huggles ?!?!? I love it .... I knew it .... we were meant to be ..... Teddybear ... huggles ..... yes yes yes ......

Big Kahuna said...

Heh heh heh... This certainly explains some things about the Teddybear. BTW, you owe me 10 cuddles.

Darth Teddy said...

The context in which the text is implies that the cuddles have already been delivered thus the passing out in the middle of them ...... so I believe punishment has been handed out .... the Teddybear has spoken ......

Big Kahuna said...

Context? What context? This post was written by a clown in Africa who thinks he's in Western Europe. Passing out? Nah, it was more of falling asleep due to boredom. You're not running out of cuddles now are you? A staggering 56% of those polled are not convinced about your cuddliness and want firsthand experience before they decide… Heh heh heh!

Darth Teddy said...

Cuddles will be handed out at the Teddybear's discretion .... demands will be rasberry saluted .....

Big Kahuna said...

It seems the Teddybear has given one cuddle too many.

Firestar said...

Just wondering why all the ppl on this blog have suddenly gone quiet! Its an intresting read...nothing new for nearly a.. GASP.. week! HMPH By the way.. is the TeddyBear still giving out cuddles?

Big Kahuna said...

We welcome our honored guest from the Land of the Rising Sun. The Circus is merely having a siesta and will return shortly with more episodes of unrestrained buffoonery. And yes, the Teddybear (who happens to be available) is still giving out cuddles. Teddybear, I believe your services are required…

Darth Teddy said...

The Teddybear is indeed handing out cuddles .... of course at his own dicretion as stated before .... this constraint is due to the many slanders that have been flying in the Bear's direction .... the ducking and weaving is still continuing .... I gather that the land of the rising sun wished a cuddle ?

Firestar said...

Welll... would make it easier to vote if the Teddybears cuddly or not dont you think? ;)

Darth Teddy said...

indeed it would ..... this model of cuddle comes in 3 sizes .... small, medium and large ..... please specify to which magnitude cuddles are required :)) .....

The Bear will be glad to cooperate and is open for negotiation .... :)

Big Kahuna said...

Large please. With extra smooches. ROTFL!

Firestar said...

Ponders...hmm all three?! Minus the smooches that Big Kahuna seems to be wanting so badly hehe (HALO)

Darth Teddy said...

Kahuna is just being optimistic .... he shall get no such .... thing .... you are in luck ... there is a special offer when you order all three ... you get a extra large one free ... thank you for using teddybear cuddles ...

Big Kahuna said...

You're not getting many RFCs (Requests for Cuddles) are you? :-p

Darth Teddy said...

On the contrary ... if you look above I seem to have recieved and order in bulk .....

Big Kahuna said...

Since when is a 3 "bulk"? And it's only an enquiry. You don't even have a firm order. Hehehe... Your biggest potential customer is a single clown from Japan!

Unknown said...

One wonders if this was all a ploy by the Big Kahuna to touch the teddy bear, who has repeatedly rebuffed Big Kahuna's advances.