RYE BROOK, New York - Supreme Commander of everything and anything, Vandoofus, is said to have been distraught over the length of some of the accounts appearing on the Circus. He criticized some of the long and painful-to-read articles written by certain unnamed individuals. The whole reading experience has brought back unpleasant memories of the Commander’s 4 year tenure at a certain educational establishment in Wellawatte. Vandoofus is said to be considering introducing censorship to control the contributions to the Circus which has so far been largely independent and free of restrictions. But Vandoofus argues, if the contributors are unable to conduct themselves in professional and ethical manner keeping the articles short and simple without the use big words, the Commander has no other choice but to take some very strong and unpleasant actions.
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In a press release issued a few minutes ago, Kahuna reminded Vandoofus of the First Amendment and said He firmly believed in silencing those who opposed the freedom of speech. He added that he would use His Second Amendment right to arm bears to this end. When asked about the legal implications of His moves, Kahuna pleaded the Fifth.
Kahuna is obviously not aware of the five hundred and sixty seventh amendment which state all other amendments are only applicable if ratified by Vandoofus.
Kahuna will send a doctor with a flashlight to show Vandoofus what he can do with his amendment.
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