Gordon Joins Dark Side

CORUSCANT -- A press release issued by the Sith today announced that crackpot inventor, Professor Gordon had officially joined the Dark Side. According to letters patent granted by the Sith, Gordon will henceforth be known as Ebenezer Vader, 1^st Darth Gordon of Ganemulla, with all rights and privileges pertaining thereto. The title is hereditary.

Gordon’s reasons for joining the Dark Side, however, appear to be highly unconventional as substantiated during his initial interview (readers are advised to view links to experience the full effect of the dialog):

Gordon : If I join the Dark Side, will I be Ebenezer
         Vader or Darth Gordon?
Kahuna : You have a choice of name X-(
Kahuna : You might want to try Ebenezer Vader, Darth
         Gordon à la Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Gordon : I prefer Darth Gordon
Kahuna : You might go so far as to style yourself 
         Ebenezer Vader, 1st Darth Gordon
Kahuna : A precedent has been set by Alfred Tennyson,
         1st Baron Tennyson
Kahuna : Are you formally joining the Dark Side? 
Kahuna : Shall I send an application form? 
Gordon : Please do
Kahuna : By Darth Huggles 
Gordon : Do I need to sleep with the approval board? 
Kahuna : No, but this could expedite the process 
         considerably
Gordon : X-(
Kahuna : Do you have reasons for wishing to join the 
         Dark Side?
Gordon : Indeed, I want a Vader outfit
Kahuna : With or without mask?
Gordon : Without
Gordon : I also want a lightsaber
Gordon : I could source externally of course by 
         [link]
Kahuna : This is not a Sith-approved vendor
Kahuna : Do you want assistance with laboured 
         breathing?
Gordon : This would make one heck of a dildo I guess
Gordon : I will build my own if you don’t watch it
         [link] 
Kahuna : Your perversions have no end
Kahuna : There's a good chance you'll muck up the 
         construction: [link]
Gordon : It appears there are much bigger clowns out
         there than we first estimated by [link]
Kahuna : Indeed, this could come in handy during 
         meetings 
Kahuna : Drawing one's lightsaber while commenting 
         "I find your lack of faith in the technical 
         architecture disturbing" has its plus points
Gordon : #@$%@#$#@$@

Darth Gordon, busy writing his memoirs, The Elephant must be Fed, was not available for comment.

KNN will continue to monitor this expanding situation.