The Kahuna-Gordon Messages: Part 2 – The Way of the Ugguduwa[1]

PANADURA, Sri Lanka -- A recent commotion in the ceiling of Kahuna’s abode led to the following buffoonery that quite literally went to pot.

Kahuna : There's a rumpus in the SCA X-(
Gordon : Eh?
Kahuna : Suspended Ceiling Architecture
Gordon : Heh heh, I see
Kahuna : This may be due to a hothambuwa[2]
Kahuna : X-(
Gordon : :=))
Kahuna : Or even a kalawedda[3]
Gordon : In addition to the one in your room :=))
Kahuna : #$!@$#@#%#$%#$%
Gordon : ROTFL
Kahuna : I will send a mugatiya[4] to deal with you
Gordon : You appear to be operating an unlicensed
         private zoo X-(
Kahuna : Look who's talking
Kahuna : Your illicit banana plantation in the
         Bahamas for instance...
Gordon : If I had holdings in the Bahamas,
         I wouldn’t be mucking about here
Kahuna : Obviously this is a front for tax evasion
Gordon : I will get the courts to stop this
         investigation[5] if you don’t watch it X-(
Kahuna : You’re using the proceeds from your banana
         empire to finance nefarious deeds X-(
Gordon : Such as?
Kahuna : The Blare GITT Project for starters
Gordon : You're the one growing genetically modified
         marijuana X-(
Kahuna : Ha! I knew it!
Kahuna : You’re in the pot business
Gordon : Bah

No polecats were harmed during the course of this production.

^[1] Common Indian Palm-cat (Paradoxurus hemaphroditus hemaphroditus).
^[2] Sri Lanka Ruddy Mongoose (Herpestes smithii zeylanicus).
^[3] Golden Palm Cat (Paradoxurus zeylonensis).
^[4] Common Sri Lanka Grey Mongoose (Herpestes edwardsii lanka).
^[5] A threat to invoke the supremely powerful Hambantota Maneuver.