New Historical Archives Reveal More History

Connecticut - (ENN) - New research conducted by the Center for Historical Archives now reveals, between the years of 876BC and 787BC, the Kingdom of Vandissia might have spanned the vast land from the northern borders of Canada to the southern costal tip of Florida. The kingdom also seemed to have had a treaty with its northern neighbor, Canada, by which Canada paid huge sums of money to the Kingdom in order to deter invasion and to protect Canada from other forces. For the most part of this period the kingdom was ruled by Vandoofus I also known as Vandoofus the Magnificent. Historical records uncovered recently by archeologist and historians say at least two fierce battles were fought between the forces loyal to Vandoofus I and Kahuna the Horrible. One of them is said to have taken place in the town of Boston (Present day Boston) for the control of the state of Massachusetts and the second, a few years later, for the state of Connecticut was fought in the town of Hartford (Present day Hartford). Vandoofus I emerged victorious in both these campaigns and there by managed to extend his kingdom all the way from the northern frontier to the southern coast of the Florida Keys.

The defeat left Kahuna the Horrible with no real statehood. He suffered heavy loses. His military was almost entirely wiped out and his brigade of cattle was all slaughtered and eaten. Having survived two embarrassing defeats, Kahuna retreated to the islands of Bahamas and became a goat herder.

Vandoofus I, along with his family, loyal soldiers, ministers and advisors set up a base in the town of New York (Present day New York City). The stability and the economic boom that followed converted the town into a flourishing metropolis. The people of Vandissia, thanks to the great emperor Vandoofus the Magnificent, lived a luxurious life with most modern day conveniences known to us such as schools, Karaoke bars, strip clubs, museums and DMVs.

Recently uncovered historical documents reveal Kahuna was subsequently given an official pardon and was invited to the mainland by King Vandoofus I. The legend goes Kahuna, during a brief meeting with the highness, attacked the king in an unsuccessful and pathetic attempt to change the course of the succession. Vandoofus I, being magnificent, defended himself successfully and managed to restrain Kahuna until the guards arrived. Guards escorted Kahuna to the dungeons and later amidst kicking and screaming, was carried to the moat and fed to the crocodiles in front a large public gathering.

Vandoofus I ruled the kingdom until his death which occured of natural causes in 745BC. He was succeeded by one of his many children by many wives. After months of deliberation the wise men of Vandissia named the new king - Vandoofus II