Sunday, March 19, 2006

Cordless in Ganemulla

GANEMULLA, Sri Lanka -- Crackpot inventor Professor Gordon has been spotted in the vast grounds of his Ganemulla hideout testing Digital Enhanced Cordless Telecommunications (DECT). Sources close to the situation said that Gordon was calling all and sundry using a cordless phone while traversing his estate in what appeared to be a directed graph, attempting to discover the limit of his transmission equipment.

Industry insiders termed this a Travelling Crackpot Problem and called for immediate steps to curtail Gordon’s dynamic range and consequently pollution in the 1.8 GHz waveband.

Kahuna admitted that His afternoon siesta had been disturbed by Gordon calling to measure the signal-to-noise ratio from underneath a coconut tree. He added that Gordon’s test case was flawed as it only operated in two dimensions. Kahuna suggested that the arch-zoologist climb his coconut trees to determine the altitude limit of his base station. He conceded that a Newtonian solution to the Travelling Crackpot Problem might be found if Gordon were to fall off such a tree. He dismissed the potential loss saying it was all in the name of science.

Attempts to contact Gordon resulted in a busy signal. KNN will continue to monitor this developing situation.

1 comment:

Big Kahuna said...

The original title of this post was The Travelling Crackpot Problem. After some rumination I decided to change it to Cordless in Ganemulla in the hopes that one day it would become a major motion picture starring Tom Hanks as Ebenezer Gordon. With heavy makeup of course.