The Kahuna-Gordon Messages: Part 6 – The Way of the Asp

ROME, Roman Republic -- We now present yet another episode in the continuing Kahuna-Gordon messages. The following sordid exchange took place on the Ides of March.

Kahuna : One JC[1] was bumped off on a day like this.
Gordon : X-(
Kahuna : Would you like a replay with yourself in
         the starring role?
Gordon : Only if I get to do Cleopatra[2] first.
Kahuna : This can be arranged, but the asp may
         interfere.
Gordon : ASP?
Kahuna : Asp[3]
Kahuna : "With thy sharp teeth this knot intrinsicate
         Of life at once untie: poor venomous fool
         Be angry, and dispatch. O, couldst thou speak,
         That I might hear thee call great Caesar asp
         Unpolicied!"[4]
Gordon : "Fuck you"[5] might have been more concise X-(
Kahuna : X-(
Kahuna : "According to Plutarch (quoted by Ussher),
         Cleopatra tested various deadly poisons on
         condemned persons and animals for daily
         entertainment. She concluded that the bite of
         the asp was the best way to die. It brought a
         sleepiness and heaviness without spasms of
         pain. Later she used this method to kill
         herself."[3]
Kahuna : The bitch X-(
Gordon : Kinky.
Kahuna : Application of the asp is shown X-(
Gordon : If it interests you, I'm dabbling with ASP.NET
         as we speak X-(
Kahuna : Do you apply this to your breast à la
         Cleopatra?
Gordon : Er no, however it is a pain in the ass
         sometimes.
Kahuna : It is not documented if Cleopatra
         investigated this route.
Gordon : I'm sure JC did, though.
Kahuna : This is a serious allegation.
Gordon : Nonsense, JC was a kinky bastard.
Kahuna : Said JC was stabbed 23 times according to
         reports[6].
Gordon : He probably stabbed Cleo much more :-p
Kahuna : @#$@$#$@#$@$@#$@!#!@#!@#!@#
Kahuna : This is quite a perverse view.
Gordon : You're entitled to your opinion.

No asps were harmed in the course of this production. However, Gordon may have botched some ASP.NET code. In hindsight, it may well have botched itself.

^[1] Gaius Julius Caesar.
^[2] Cleopatra VII Philopator.
^[3] Asp.
^[4] Cleopatra, Act V, Scene II, Antony & Cleopatra by William Shakespeare.
^[5] William Smith.
^[6] Ides of March.