Unquotable Quotes - Part 16

Must be quite a view from the judges’ chair.

- Gordon, on learning that Anna Nicole Smith had argued her way up to the supreme court.

No, just grass.

- Gordon, on being asked if he was organizing a grassroots campaign.

For a cow, you're quite well armed.

- Gordon to Kahuna, after an exchange consisting of moo(), slaughter() and Uzi() function calls.

Why of course, you have to name a vehicle. Otherwise you tend to just think of them as objects. You have to understand that they have feelings.

- Huggles’s Vehicular Naming Monologue.

Can you explain why the blasted DB2 client needs so much space?

- Gordon’s DB2 Lament.

Because the installer has determined that you have way too much free space on your local disk.

- Kahuna’s Corollary to Gordon’s DB2 Lament.

I am paying the gym dues. Does that count?

- Vandoofus to Kahuna, on being asked if he exercised.

You buy condoms as well, right? Does that mean you have sex?

- Kahuna to Vandoofus, attempting Rebuttal by Dubious Analogy.

I think you touch up your pictures.

- Vandoofus, taking a grim view of Kahuna’s photography.

Lets see… The winner of the Vandoofus [Prize for] Best Photographer… With 4 votes… The Real Kahuna! Clap clap clap clap clap.

- Vandoofus, announcing the winner of the controversial prize bearing his name.

This is rigged! I demand that Jimmy Carter [be] an independent observer!

- Kahuna, calling for free and fair elections with international moderation after learning the outcome of the Vandoofus Prize competition.

Why does my monster get so angry when you say something?

- Vandoofus, musing on the behaviour of his MSN avatar in the presence of Kahuna.

He's probably realigned a whole set of cruise missiles to point at cricket fields now.

- Gordon, pondering the consequences of George W Bush being hit in the head with a cricket ball, and surviving.

This is a direct consequence of bungling a lens cleaning operation.

- Kahuna to Gordon, on having to visit the Mumbler after catastrophic failure of surface-mount optics.

So, under the guise of a terrible breakdown, I kept it for a week.

- Her Royal Highness, confessing to laptop repair encroaching on eternity.

Beware of the porcupines of March!

- Kahuna, issuing a cryptic warning to Gordon.