Vandoofus Readies for South American Tour

NEW YORK CITY, New York -- KNN learns that Senior Clown St Vandoofus will be departing on an expedition to Ecuador tomorrow, in his official capacity as the first representative from the Circus to visit South America.

According to the latest flight plans, Vandoofus will be landing unsupervised at the Simón Bolívar International Airport in the coastal city of Santiago de Guayaquil. It is understood that he will be gracing a wedding ceremony during his tour of the country. However, his intended presence during the honeymoon remains controversial.

Vandoofus will also be visiting the capital city of Quito, located on the eastern slopes of Pinchincha, an active stratovolcano. At an elevation of 9,300 feet (2,850 meters) above sea level, Quito happens to be the second-highest capital city in the world, after La Paz in Bolivia. The latent tectonic activity of the region and the high Clown Factor (CF) of Vandoofus have prompted Kahuna to issue an advisory noting a statistically significant Potential for Disaster (PFD). The conversation below is presented as evidence:

Kahuna    : Are you gonna climb Pichincha?
Vandoofus : :-S
Vandoofus : Should I?
Vandoofus : What is there?
Kahuna    : Yeah, it’s an active volcano
Kahuna    : Quito is on the eastern slope
Vandoofus : Ah
Vandoofus : Hmm
Kahuna    : "Active" being the key word here
Vandoofus : If it doesn't require strenuous activity 
            I might climb
Vandoofus : X-(
Vandoofus : So you think its going to go off when 
            I am there?
Vandoofus : X-(
Kahuna    : Yeah... Your CF might trigger it... I'm 
            calculating the odds now
Vandoofus : X-(

In related anecdotal evidence, Kahuna revealed that Vandoofus was caught smoking at high altitude a decade ago during an ascent of Thotupola, the third-highest peak in Sri Lanka.

After the close of South American tour, it is believed that the globe-trotting Vandoofus would have trampled all continents underfoot other than Antarctica. Kahuna is rumored to be evaluating a proposal to airdrop Vandoofus in his underwear at McMurdo Station.

Vandoofus—busy packing and brushing up on his Spanish—was not available for comment.