Gordon Hosted to Circus

MOUNT LAVINIA, Sri Lanka -- Professor Gordon was hosted to a circus beside the sea on Thursday night at the Golden Mile. Those present at the gathering were Gordon, his Autonomous Wife, the Monster, the Baroness, Huggles, the Menace and Kahuna. Felicitations were received from geographically disjoint clowns including the recently resurrected Bart the Oblivious, St Vandoofus and the Cookie Monster.

Thanks to logistical bungling including but not limited to shopping at the last moment, the corner cashier, consultation with licensed medical practitioners regarding red-eye reduction and the quest for the holy eye drops, the party of the celebrant arrived at the venue prior to the hosts. This was remedied finally, by the arrival of the hosts bearing gifts from Otara of wireless (IEEE 802.11b) hotspot fame.

In accordance with tradition, the holy chemoluminescent red and blue lightsticks were activated and presented to Gordon in the form of a collar to be worn during the proceedings. The portly one was seen glowing around the gills and later around the wrists in a manner reminiscent of Automan, albeit without the color co-ordination.

These were soon followed at appropriate moments during the meal by the rest of the buffoon vestments including the skunk cap, clown shoes and the thong underwear. A long-sleeved shirt was also thrown in for good measure. Shirt measurements, however, were bungled thanks to the Monster. Size, apparently does matter and the Monster is scheduled for a thumping at a later date. If the service layer of the Golden Mile was perturbed by the luminescent Gordon, they hid it well. Even so, the skunk cap did cause some alarm, with a waiter making a hasty retreat. Fortunately, Gordon did not try on the thong during the proceedings, thus avoiding a potential breach of the peace.

The food at the establishment was declared NB overall, despite the pepper sauce accompanying the prawns registering rather high on the Scoville scale. The orange juice, which seemed to have been concocted by running whole oranges through a blender is also best avoided, unless accompanied by a filtration system.

Among the other gifts presented were What to Expect the Toddler Years and rather incongruously, Drive Her Wild: 100 Sex Tips for Men. The Monster expressed undue interest in the former works and was advised to first consult the latter. The books were followed up with a stash of imported chocolate for personal use, which was handed around by Gordon in contravention of accepted restaurant etiquette. However, norms were suspended on the grounds that the chocolates were delicious. The proceedings were declared closed shortly thereafter and appropriate getaways were made using automobiles equipped with internal combustion engines.

Kahuna is currently convalescing after a bout of the 'flu causing conjunctivitis on the 3^rd day. In a break with tradition, days 4 to 6 have been declared days of rest and the possibility of an all-nighter on the 7^th has not been ruled out.