Unquotable Quotes - Part 33

The least you could have done was to aim the projectile accurately.

— Kahuna, taking Gordon to task for bungling the target zone during the last meteorite strike.

Need to loosen up my fingers again; they are a bit too stiff.

— Darth Teddy to Kahuna, forecasting ominous digital deeds.

Did I tell you about the FedEx guy who wanted to know why I was wearing a skirt?

— Gordon to Kahuna, on the follies of answering the door in Georgia while dressed in sarong.

And I think UQ is rigged; I'm certain that I made dodgier comments than the ones portrayed, and all of this has been overlooked for some hogwash.

— Darth Teddy to Kahuna, expressing great displeasure over non-inclusion in UQ32.

I am the USP for this series; I have fans to cater to.

— Darth Teddy to Kahuna, making a point about Unquotable Quotes.

Your USP is your anaconda, and you can quote me on that.

— Kahuna to Darth Teddy, pointing elsewhere.

So you're suggesting we replace the L2 with a baobab?

— Kahuna, questioning Gordon's radical departure from silicon in his new processor architecture.

Let's me get this right: we have pigeons bringing in the data from off chip storage, then there's a ring of elephants around the baobab who stomp on the incoming data to compress it?

— Kahuna, trying to picture Gordon's new processor architecture.

Yes, and vultures cleaning up any leftovers.

— Gordon to Kahuna, explaining his organic garbage collection mechanism.

This compression appears to be lossy.

— Kahuna, expressing concerns about Gordon's pachydermal data compression algorithm.

When was the last time you recovered anything squashed by an elephant then?

— Gordon to Kahuna, proving to be quite thick-skinned on the need for an inverse compression function.

According to Gordon, you get the elephants to stomp on the file.

— Kahuna to Darth Teddy, on being asked how to reduce the size of JPG file to a minimum.

They should drain that bloody lake and sort out the whole affair once and for all.

— Gordon to Kahuna, proposing an in-depth solution to locate the Loch Ness Monster.

Uugggh, scary monster.

— Vandoofus to Kahuna, on Darth Teddy adorning the Board of Buffoons.

Am I still in the waiting list for a stripper?

— Darth Teddy to Kahuna, checking his prior booking.

And you're occupying the couch, the whole couch and nothing but the couch?

— Kahuna, attempting to establish Darth Teddy's whereabouts.

So help me plod.

— Darth Teddy to Kahuna, swearing by his slouch.

We're going to get an NC-17 rating at this rate.

— Gordon to Kahuna, taking a dim view of recent explicit postings on the Circus.

Are you still raising a point of order about these peanuts?

— Kahuna, questioning Gordon's concerns regarding 25 tons of peanuts being delivered to CBS on account of 'Jericho' being canceled.

By the way, I think you should install Food Fight on Facebook so that I can throw things at you.

— The Baroness, seeking to pelt Kahuna with a pie.

You have published more on me than any other clown on the planet already.

— Gordon, noting Kahuna's unauthorized biographical works.

Precisely; I was expecting preferential treatment.

— Kahuna, on expecting to write Gordon's obituary.

You will probably be the cause of my demise as well.

— Gordon to Kahuna, taking a deadly view of things.

The invasion will be tomorrow.

— Gordon, providing a revised schedule to Kahuna.

You're exiting your republic as I come in?

— Gordon, learning of Kahuna's plans to visit the orient during a previously scheduled invasion.

I will be remotely managing my republic.

— Kahuna, in his own defense.

Greetings from Boston.

— Gordon, engaging in blatant provocation of Kahuna.

Yeah right; like your anaconda won't dance when I send a stripper.

— Kahuna to Darth Teddy, proposing to engage in snake charming by proxy.

The correct charmer will make any snake dance.

— Darth Teddy's First Law of Snake Charming.

Your snake needs a charmer to calm it down.

— Kahuna's Corollary Darth Teddy's First Law of Snake Charming.

Well pencil him in; my list is quite long, however.

— Kahuna to Gordon, on being asked to remove another certified idiot from the planet.

Found the dancing girls?

— Vandoofus to Kahuna, checking on preparations for his visit.

No, but the male strippers are ready.

— Kahuna to Vandoofus, disclosing alternative arrangements.

I am walking around in London and am actually getting paid for it.

— Darth Teddy to Kahuna, admitting to profitable but dodgy activities in the city.

Will we be seeing a geostationary anaconda over Watford?

— Kahuna to Darth Teddy, fearing the worst after learning of the Geostationary Banana over Texas.

It won't be stationary by any means.

— Darth Teddy, confirming Kahuna's worst fears.

Those are young lions; they are just playing with their food.

— Gordon to Kahuna, on the antics of Kevin Richardson.

I believe my rear end is quite yummy.

— Darth Teddy's Tasty Tush Hypothesis.

Anyone care to endorse this?

— Darth Teddy, seeking an empirical proof to his Tasty Tush Hypothesis.

You need to be knocked down a notch or two, BTBOTP.

— Kahuna, seeking to deflate Darth Teddy's rampant presence.

Can I stay up on the same notch and get some one to blow me instead?

— Darth Teddy to Kahuna, proposing a highly inflationary alternative.