The Google Reader and A Walk Through Durham Township

MOUNTAIN VIEW, California Republic -- For those of you who've not tried out the Google Reader, the time is nigh. This is a nifty web-based feed reader that has preset bundles (news, sports, photography, science etc.) to get you started. You can even star your favorite items and share them with others off a web page or feed.

The photography bundle is highly recommended. This is where I came across A Walk Through Durham Township, Pennsylvania, a photoblog by Kathleen Connally. She uses a full-format 12-megapixel Canon EOS 5D and here's a selection of her work:

• The Woot Shung Walking Stick
• Running the Combine at Dusk
• The Old Farmall 300 in the Dinosaur Shed
• Raking Alfalfa
• Picking Blackberries
  
• In the Pool
  
• Manfred's Herd

Of course, it's much easier to view all this in the Google Reader. Get in there! Microsoft evangelist Professor Gordon is advised to jump on the bandwagon before his Christmas stockings end up filled with Zunes—lumps of coal being more aesthetic and having higher market value. Not to mention heating value.

Three Years of Highly Defamatory Blogging

PANADURA, Sri Lanka -- During the last three years, quite a lot of content has been generated. The last highly inflammatory rant by Darth Teddy was the 500^th such post. Kahuna indicated that He would retaliate appropriately to the cuddly one's overactive imagination during the weekend. Fur, He indicated, would fly.

In the meantime, the much-maligned background quotation marks—generated by blockquote markup—have been consigned to the depths of the East River.

The label widget has also been added to the sidebar under the blog archive. Of historical posts, only the Unquotable Quotes series is currently labeled in entirety.

Dubious Activity Towards the South

BENTOTA, Sri Lanka -- Amidst several attempts to syndicate this news item we at BNN have finally been able uphold justice through this exclusive. As may of you are aware the Kahuna (Big) has been posting a number of dodgy pictures portraying furry rat-like creatures known to some of you as squirrels. However, we at BNN have exclusive behind the scenes footage (amongst very wet conditions) of what actually transpired during this R-rated weekend of "squirrel photography."

Two weeks ago on an undercover dining expedition with Kahuna (Big) by one of our star reporters, Kahuna let slip some very interesting information about an expedition that he undertook, under very wet conditions. This expedition took him 45 minutes away from his abode (which is also in the depths of the jungle) further into oblivion to a location aptly named Ben(d)tota. The general public thus far has been tactfully subjected to images of these furry creatures as a front to the actual goings on.

Our start reporter, DT we shall call him, almost fell out (or was he pushed) of the vehicle he was traveling in at the time when Kahuna revealed sensitive information to the effect of not, I repeat NOT engaging in this expedition alone. *Gasp*

In order to negate any further suspense we can now reveal that Kahuna (Big) did in fact engage in this expedition with a thus unnamed Molecular Biologist. Unfortunately, we were unable to ascertain the name of this biologist. However, we must stress that a very noticeable blush was released right after Kahuna (Big) uttered the word "molecular."

Of course there were strong denials that anything slippery went on in the space that was shared within this squirrel and biologist infested arena. This was widely expected as almost no one admits to a good time with fur and molecules together.

Unfortunately, no further information could be squeezed out of the now blushing Kahuna (Big) due to recognition of his blunder. We at BNN will however attempt to follow up on this exclusive and try to gain much more juicy information.

We must stress that other than obscene imagery of the furry rat-like creatures, no squirrels were harmed during this expedition, but unfortunately no guarantee can be given to any molecules or biologists in question. We hope you have enjoyed this breaking news and until next time... good night.

Unquotable Quotes - Part 29

That's why they call me the Energizer Bunny.

— Vandoofus, establishing his credentials.

No, no, my snake was played with a while ago.

— Darth Teddy to Kahuna, pleading no contest to snake charming.

Unbloggable content usually implies me.

— Darth Teddy to Kahuna, attempting to amass rights to all questionable content.

Do you want half-naked pics of Darth Teddy posted on the Circus?

— Kahuna to Vandoofus, lobbying for a private blog.

I don't want them posted anywhere.

— Vandoofus, vetoing Kahuna's bid for a private blog.

I see you're engaging in religious observances.

— Kahuna, noting Darth Teddy engrossed in premier league football.

Nonsense, your accusations are false: I never stopped.

— Darth Teddy to Kahuna, on being accused of being on the prowl again.

Your imagination should be put on a leash.

— Gordon, seething over Kahuna's latest defamatory posting.

You will note I am entitled to pay tax here, but not to vote.

— Gordon to Kahuna, taking a dim view of the land of the free.

Now all we need is to interface this with the ICBM guidance system.

— Kahuna to Darth Ching, proposing ballistic missile delivery to IP address using www.ip-adress.com.

Having an accident in the rain in a 150 mph device with a load of lithium-ion batteries could get quite interesting.

— Gordon, assessing the impact of a high-speed collision in a Tesla Roadster under wet weather conditions.

Will these batteries be made by the explosives manufacturer, Sony?

— Kahuna, querying the source of the Tesla Roadster's lithium-ion batteries.

Are you lighting the bonfires? No doubt you will be leading the cattle home shortly.

— Kahuna, seeking to implicate Gordon in an ancient Samhain ritual.

I have stockpiled chocolate.

— Gordon, announcing preparations for Halloween.

It is anti-social behavior to turn away kids that may turn up at ones doorstep by E Scrooge.

— Gordon's Halloween Principle.

If your identity was known, it would be law enforcement turning up at your doorstep.

— Kahuna's Corollary to Gordon's Halloween Principle.

As whom are you dressing up tonight? Or will you be scaring people as is?

— Kahuna, questioning Gordon's Halloween dress code.

Your broomstick license has been approved; keep out of the no fly zones.

— Kahuna, announcing FAA clearance for Gordon's B-82 Stratosweeper.

Someone should stick a broomstick up your ass.

— Gordon, proposing to deal with Kahuna à la Rumsfeld.

You will also note that capacitor polarities are clearly marked on the board.

— Kahuna to Gordon, pointing out significant safety features of the Apple iMac G5 midplane.

Like a nuclear winter.

— Gordon to Kahuna, on being asked about the weather in Tehran.

Did you try multi-party talks?

— Vandoofus to Kahuna, on being told of Gordon's refusal to negotiate.

Is that like an orgy?

— Kahuna to Vandoofus, on the definition of multi-party talks.

Oh, I was chatting with Gordon yesterday. He is still determined to pursue nuclear technology.

— Vandoofus to Kahuna, noting a breakdown in multi-party talks.

A Plutonium Delight?

— Vandoofus to Kahuna, suggesting a deadly dessert from Kim's.

Yeah, topped with caesium.

— Kahuna to Vandoofus, selecting a decidedly explosive topping for the Plutonium Delight.

We will go for option one, option two seems too easy.

— Darth Teddy, opting for the Sour Cream Apple Pie with Streusel Topping rather than the Ice Cream with Rum Sauce for dessert at Kahuna's.

Keep an eye on the tart.

— DCI Kahuna, instructing DS Darth Teddy to place an apple pie in the oven under surveillance.

I'm taking a break from females.

— Darth Teddy to Kahuna, announcing an abrupt policy reversal.

Squirrels might not have been harmed, but I'm sure a few were blinded.

— Darth Teddy, taking a dim view of Kahuna's squirrel photography.

Hogwash. I've always been armed with a pencil and ruler.

— Kahuna, denying Darth Teddy's allegations of not knowing when to draw the line.

It looks like they've missed the polonium while they were confiscating liquids.

— Kahuna, commenting on radiation being detected aboard British Airways aircraft after the Litvinenko affair.

Now you'll be frisked with a Geiger counter at the airport and all those Rolex watches with radium dials confiscated.

— Gordon, predicting an elevated level of lunacy in air travel.

Do you think my portrayal of Kim in KGM9 is Oscar-worthy?

— Kahuna to Gordon, eying an Academy Award for his role as an unstable despot.

It's interesting that none of your bungles are included.

— Darth Teddy, accusing Kahuna of expunging His unquotable quotes from the official record.

Would you like me to align Saturn in a more favorable manner so you can proceed?

— Kahuna, offering to move planets to mobilize a procrastinating Gordon.

Team Members Widget Operational

PANADURA, Sri Lanka -- Darth Teddy has crossed over to the dark side. Well, to the Beta at least. Consequently, the team members widget is functioning again and has been put back on the sidebar. It appears to need at least two accounts on the Beta to work.

Clowns should switch by logging into Blogger and then following instructions on the dashboard.

We're Back with a New Look!

PANADURA, Sri Lanka -- After a whole weekend of fiddling with the layout mechanism of the Blogger in Beta, we're back with a new look. New posts and changes to posts are now saved to the database and dynamically served on demand. The dreaded publishing indicator is no more. Yay!

We had to remove the list of team members because that wasn't being generated correctly with a link to everyone's profiles. We'll put that back once it's fixed. In other noticeable changes, the blog archive has a new format and we've got a cleaner overall feel. The Beta supports labels (tags) for each post (like in Gmail and Picasa). You can see them at the bottom of this post. A label list will be added to the sidebar later.

One other important change: a Google account is needed to use the Beta. According to Blogger, you'll be invited to switch the next time you login with your existing Blogger account. Holler if you need help.

Well, that's it for the moment. Do send feedback about the new interface. Happy blogging!

Welcome to the Beta

BOSTON, Former Massachusetts -- We've just migrated to the new Beta. Finally. Some more work needs to be done to switch from the old template system to layouts, so things may not work as they should right now.

12 Days of Christmas (Indhian Istyle)

MUMBAI, India -- Of all the great artistic works of this century the 12 Days of Christmas by Boymongoose is definitely considered to be one of the best. Its excellent cinematography, score and the shear literary marvel of the lyrics places the song in a class of its own. Despite critics' claims the work to be racist I think it is hilarious and should be nominated for the Nobel Prize for … something.

Squirrel Antics

 
 
 
 
 
 

Squirrel Antics (Copyright (cc) 2006 B Kahuna)

BENTOTA, Sri Lanka -- Squirrels frolic and pose for Kahuna at the Bentota Beach Hotel. More squirrel photographs posted to the Flickr Group Pool.

Captured on November 19^th 2006 with a Canon EOS 30D (EF 75-300mm 1:4-5.6 III) on aperture priority.  

Fence by the Water

Fence by the Water (Copyright (cc) 2006 B Kahuna)

BENTOTA, Sri Lanka -- A brushwood fence and hedge borders a pond at the Bentota Beach Hotel.

Captured on November 19^th 2006 with a Canon EOS 30D (EF 75-300mm 1:4-5.6 III) on shutter priority (1/100^th of a second) with a resultant aperture of speed of f/10.0 at ISO 125. 

The Kahuna-Darth Teddy Messages: Part 2 - The Way of the Squirrel

PANADURA, Sri Lanka -- We now reveal a conversation between known squirrel-sympathizer Kahuna and Darth Teddy, a vociferous proponent of the anti-squirrel lobby:

Kahuna      : In other news, I visited Bentota during 
              the weekend.
Darth Teddy : Ah, I see.
Kahuna      : Indeed. The Bentota Beach Hotel to be 
              precise.
Darth Teddy : What for?
Kahuna      : To photograph squirrels.
Darth Teddy : I see X-(
Darth Teddy : Completely bogus.
Kahuna      : Now, now X-(
Kahuna      : I have NB-complete photographs of 
              squirrels.
Darth Teddy : Nonsense, all photographs of squirrels 
              are bogus by default.
Kahuna      : This is a highly contentious argument.
Kahuna      : You will explain your thesis X-(
Darth Teddy : It’s not as argument. It’s a fact.
Kahuna      : Nonsense, you do not have evidence to 
              establish an axiom.
Darth Teddy : Having to travel 45 minutes in wet 
              conditions to photograph rat-like 
              creatures is evidence enough X-(
Kahuna      : X-(
Kahuna      : I will take you on an expedition to the
              Sinharaja to photograph leeches if you 
              persist with your thesis X-(
Darth Teddy : At least I haven't been there.
Kahuna      : !@#$@#$#@$'
Kahuna      : You're getting to be a handful early in 
              the morning X-(
Darth Teddy : You are engaging in bogus expeditions.
Kahuna      : Bah! I have every right to engage in 
              photography of squirrels X-(
Darth Teddy : Indeed, I did not say that it was illegal 
              to be insane.
Kahuna      : You're quite unruly this morning X-(
Darth Teddy : This is all your doing.
Kahuna      : I think your anaconda is not getting out 
              enough X-(
Darth Teddy : I think yours hasn't gotten out at all.
Kahuna      : That's what you think.
Darth Teddy : You might want to blog this conversation.

The conversation become completely unbloggable from this point onwards and will be reserved for Kahuna's memoirs, significant chapters of which will be dedicated towards the antics of Darth Teddy.

No squirrels were harmed during the course of this production.

Araliya

 
Araliya (Copyright (cc) 2005 B Kahuna)

BENTOTA, Sri Lanka -- White Frangipani (Plumeria alba) in bloom at the Bentota Beach Hotel. Native to Central America, Plumeria is now found in tropical areas throughout the world.

Captured on November 19^th 2006 with a Canon EOS 30D (EF 75-300mm 1:4-5.6 III) on aperture priority (f/5.6) with a resultant shutter speed of 1/400^th of a second at ISO 125. 

The Kahuna-Gordon Messages: Part 9 - Of Unbalanced Dictators and Emergency Services

PYONGYANG, North Korea -- What would happen if the unbalanced dictator of an oppressive regime called emergency services? Kahuna and Professor Gordon conducted research to find out. Here, Kahuna plays the role of the deranged dictator and Gordon, the dispatcher:

Kahuna : 911?
Gordon : Emergency, please provide your name and 
         address.
Kahuna : Kim Il-Jung, Pyongyang, North Korea.
Gordon : What is your emergency?
Kahuna : My nuclear weapon won't detonate.
Gordon : We can't find a match for you sir, is that 
         Kim Jong-Il?
Kahuna : This is an emergency, do you expect me to 
         remember everything?
Gordon : We've got a team on their way with a pack 
         of Viagra right now, sir.
Gordon : Your weapon will detonate.
Kahuna : I don't think you understand: I think the 
         plutonium I purchased is defective.
Gordon : Is that what you call it in Asia, sir?
Kahuna : How dare you insult the Dear Leader!
Kahuna : This is an outrage!
Gordon : You can't be as dear as you sound if you're
         soliciting Viagra.
Kahuna : You will need Viagra once we're through with
         you.
Gordon : There's no need to get abusive, sir.
Kahuna : Tchah! You'll probably turn up here without
         a Geiger counter.
Gordon : I'm told you have your own.

This production was inspired by a recent 911 call made by Professor Gordon. Emergency services responded in under than 5 minutes with one squad car, one ambulance and one firetruck. Clearly, they didn't trust Gordon with his description of the problem and decided to show up en masse. However, in their great haste, they forgot to bring a thermometer.

No weapons-grade plutonium or sildenafil citrate was proliferated during this production.

Sunny Skies

Sunny Skies (Copyright © 2006 Darth Teddy)

The Tesla Roadster

The Tesla Roadster (Copyright © 2006 Tesla Motors, Inc)

SAN CARLOS, California Republic -- There's been a great disturbance in the force, and not merely the electromotive force. Silicon Valley startup Tesla Motors, Inc., has created an automobile that can only be described as highly disturbing. Here's what their website has to say:

The Tesla Roadster’s specs illustrate what it does (0 to 60 in about 4 seconds) — as well as what it doesn’t (zero emissions, zero motor oil). With one moving part in the motor, no clutch, and two gears, it’s not only a joy to drive, but to own as well. There is no motor oil to change; no filters, belts, or spark plugs to replace; no oxygen sensors to mistrust before an emissions test — in fact, no emissions test required ever. Other than inspection, the only service we recommend for the first 100,000 miles is brake and tire service.

The Tesla Roadster delivers peak torque at zero rpm, enabling disturbing acceleration rivaling that of a Lamborghini Murciélago:

How powerful is the acceleration? A quick story to illustrate. A favorite trick here at Tesla Motors is to invite a passenger along and ask him to turn on the radio. At the precise moment we ask, we accelerate. Our passenger simply can’t sit forward enough to reach the dials. But who needs music when you’re experiencing such a symphony of motion.

Ouch.

The Tesla Roadster is named after the Serbian-American genius Nikola Tesla (1856-1943) who pioneered the use of polyphase alternating current systems. Tesla, who has more than 1,200 patents to his name, invented the induction motor, Tesla coil, radio, wireless remote control and wireless lighting.

The car that bears his name is powered by a 3-phase, 4-pole electric motor with a peak output of 248hp (185kW) at 13,500 rpm. This also allows it to perform regenerative braking: when the brakes are applied, the motor becomes a generator and charges the batteries, thus recovering part of the kinetic energy that would otherwise be lost. It is powered by an array of lithium-ion batteries (not from Sony) and achieves full charge in 3.5 hours, sufficient for 250 miles of driving. Standard equipment includes a mobile charging unit (for the car, not your phone) and iPod interface. Disturbing indeed.

Unlike Thomas Edison who left a legacy in the form of General Electric and the many other companies that bear the Edison name, Nikola Tesla died forgotten and penniless at age 86. Shortly after his death in 1943, the US Supreme Court ruled that his patent had precedence over that of Guglielmo Marconi, effectively recognizing Tesla as the primary inventor of the radio.

It is indeed fitting that the Tesla Roadster was unveiled in 2006, the year UNESCO has declared to be the Year of Nikola Tesla, in celebration of the 150^th anniversary of his birth. Tesla Motors justly concludes:

We‘re confident that if he were alive today, Nikola Tesla would look over our car and nod his head with both understanding and approval.

Gordon Swept into Brouhaha over Broomstick

ALPHARETTA, Georgia -- Mysterious UFO sightings on the night of Halloween have led investigators to suspect crackpot inventor Professor Gordon's use of an advanced prototype broomstick.

The contraption, called a B-82 Stratosweeper, is understood to have been powered by an ion drive of Gordon's own design. Ion drives eject charged particles to provide thrust, but have been traditionally plagued with problems of low acceleration due to poor power-weight ratios. Gordon's drive appears to have overcome these obstacles.

The arch-mechanic had taken the Stratosweeper for a spin during Halloween, counting on increased seasonal air traffic to provide sufficient cover. However, a malfunction in the shielding of his ion drive had led to an electrical fire in the engine compartment. Eye-witnesses said that the broomstick did several loops and rolls leaving a trail of blue sparks and thick white smoke. Gordon's posterior had reportedly overheated during the incident resulting in him loosing control before crashing into a nearby wooded area. No injuries were reported.

The FAA said in a brief statement that Gordon was operating a broomstick without a license. An investigation is believed to be underway. Speaking to KNN, the local coven of witches condemned Gordon's new broomstick as "wizardry" and added that Gordon couldn't incant a hex to save his posterior. They threatened to take Gordon out in an aerial dogfight if his broomstick was not immediately grounded.

A subsequent search of Gordon's Alpharetta stronghold revealed the Stratosweeper disguised as a mop and hidden in a broom closet.

KNN will continue to monitor this developing story until the dust settles.

The Kahuna-Gordon Messages: Part 8 - The Nuclear Chef

PYONGYANG, North Korea -- News breaking from Pyongyang early this morning has confirmed rumors of a sinister North Korean restaurant franchise: Kim's.

It is learned that nuclear proliferator Ebenezer Gordon has obtained exclusive rights to the franchise and plans to offer a delivery service to all continents other than South America. It is reliably understood that Gordon intends to leverage North Korean missile technology for this purpose.

Widely suspected to be involved in Dear Leader, Kim Jong-il's nuclear weapons program, Gordon has extensive experience in pyrotechnics ranging from polarity-reversed capacitors and missile technology to exploding carburettors. However, this appears to be Gordon's first foray into the restaurant business.

In an interview with Kahuna, Gordon outlined his plans and key challenges:

Kahuna : How is your franchise, Kim's?
Gordon : We're short of some key ingredients.
Kahuna : Enriched tofu?
Gordon : Indeed, and wonton wrappers.
Kahuna : What about the plutonium?
Gordon : That's in stock.
Kahuna : Not in one lot I hope X-(
Gordon : Stacked on top of each other :-P
Kahuna : You're making a critical error X-(
Gordon : Of course, the whole operation could go
         sky high.
Kahuna : This could lead to deadly fallout X-(
Gordon : At least we'll have enough mushroom for
         an entire region.
Kahuna : Your strategy is quite cloudy.
Gordon : On the contrary, we believe in atomic
         transactions.
Kahuna : This could get quite radioactive.

Analysts were quick to point out questionable safety practices and recommended that Gordon be subject to inspection by the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) before a "regrettable incident" occurs.

Gordon scoffed at his critics and announced plans to build a nuclear-powered automobile, taking over where Ford left off with their Ford Nucleon concept car of the 1950's.

KNN will continue to fabricate this developing story.

Stonehenge in Silhouette

Stonehenge in Silhouette (Copyright (cc) 2005 B Kahuna)

SALISBURY, United Kingdom -- The mysterious Neolithic monument Stonehenge rears against a brilliant, but cloudy September sky.

Captured in sepia on 14^th September 2005 with a Sony DSC-V1 on shutter priority (1/1000^th of a second) and a resulting aperture of f/7.1. 

Unquotable Quotes - Part 28

The anaconda will now be fed. Repeatedly.

- Darth Teddy to Kahuna, announcing a midnight snack.

By the Bezier Curve of Evil!

- Kahuna, resorting to complex geometry in an attempt to implicate Gordon in North Korea's nuclear test.

Must be busy cleaning up the fallout.

- Vandoofus to Kahuna, on Gordon's non-availability on Yahoo Messenger.

Did you note that Kim's missiles reach the entire planet other than South America?

- Kahuna to Gordon, on Kim Jong-il's ICBM technology.

This would be very beneficial to the Korean takeaway industry.

- Gordon to Kahuna, proposing a controversial application of long-range missile technology.

I heard Gordon is contemplating another test.

- Vandoofus to Kahuna, voicing concerns about Gordon's nefarious activities in North Korea.

Tehran to Ebenezer, come in Ebenezer.

- Kahuna to Gordon, predicting the inevitable overtures from Iran.

@#%%@#^@#%

- Gordon, on Kahuna's Iranian speculation.

Apparently Japan can be nuclear-capable in a long weekend.

- Vandoofus to Kahuna, attempting to raise regional tensions.

We might have issues getting people together.

- Darth Teddy, vetoing Kahuna's proposal to tour Iran's nuclear facilities, sighting difficulty in herding cats.

Very well if it must. You will, however, make it advantageous to me.

- Darth Teddy to Kahuna, on being told his antics must be blogged.

Smooch is not equal to hump.

- Darth Teddy's Inequality.

I will put it on leash if required.

- Kahuna, addressing Gordon's concerns about Darth Teddy becoming a handful during an excursion to the hills.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! PANIC() PANIC() PANIC()

- Gordon, learning that Timmy the Ambidextrous had joined the Empire.

I could send a Korean subwoofer by ICBM if you like.

- Gordon, offering to surround Kahuna with an explosive Dolby Digital 6.1 experience.

Very soon your closet will be searchable by Google.

- Kahuna, issuing an ominous warning to Gordon.

I can also provide six pints of premium ice cream within seven minutes drive from your location; this will kill you.

- Kahuna to Gordon, plotting a deadly course to the nearest Ben & Jerry's scoop shop.

I have a stock of these in the freezer.

- The Monster to Kahuna, admitting to stockpiling weapons of mass gluttony by Ben & Jerry.

You're resorting to the SriLankan Scarelines booking algorithm.

- Kahuna, learning of Darth Teddy's plans to offload passengers during an excursion to the hills.

Ah, I see you've arrived by the Liberator.

- Kahuna, acknowledging Darth's Ching's profile image on Yahoo Messenger.

Oooh! Someone old enough to recognize it!

- Darth Ching, noting Kahuna's recognition of the Liberator from the 1970's BBC TV series, Blake's 7.

Good lord, will this be rated R-18?

- Kahuna, learning that Darth Teddy would be writing a manual.

I recommend hiring goons to rough it up.

- Kahuna, advising Gordon to deal with the Monster after a botched intercontinental fund transfer.

I was going about my business ordering medicines when the incident occurred.

- Kahuna to Gordon, defending Himself on being mistaken for physician.

There's a sulfurous stench in the air.

- Kahuna to Gordon, reporting a lightning strike on His lead-acid accumulators.

This is proof that you're in league with the devil.

- Gordon, implicating Kahuna by way of fire and brimstone precedent set by Hugo Chavez.

Why are you still in existence?

- Vandoofus, questioning Kahuna's continued presence.

Someone has to look after the universe.

- Kahuna, in His own defense.

I believe our fate is in the hands of the Big Bang.

- Vandoofus's Big Bang Hypothesis.

You are destined to become a gaseous cloud and rotate around Saturn.

- Vandoofus, predicting a nebulous future for Kahuna.

I believe that means "den of thieves" according to Kahuna's 21^st Century Dictionary.

- Kahuna, on Horagolla.

He could shut down his fleet of aircraft for starters.

- Gordon to Kahuna, on Sir Richard Branson committing three billion dollars to combat global warming.

And you'll supply him with blimps?

- Kahuna, speculating on Gordon's alternative solution to Branson's turbojet aircraft.

These clowns do not seem to have blimps. Where did you get yours?

- Kahuna, seeking the supplier of Gordon's blimp, Fat One after learning that Mazda did not sell airships.

At Wal-Mart.

- Gordon to Kahuna, revealing his blimp supplier.

The Kahuna-Darth Teddy Messages: Part 1 - The Mobile and the Leashed

COLOMBO, Sri Lanka -- We now bring you further evidence of Darth Teddy's unholy intent to restrain the activities of Kahuna:

Darth Teddy : You didn't pick up yesterday.
Kahuna      : I wasn't in the same location as the 
              phone.
Darth Teddy : Gah! This is not an acceptable answer; 
              it’s called a mobile phone for a reason.
Kahuna      : It may be called a mobile phone; however, 
              it does not move under its own steam and 
              follow you around. That functionality is 
              provided by dogs.
Darth Teddy : I should get you and it a leash *FUME*
Kahuna      : I always suspected you wanted to tie me 
              up X-(
Darth Teddy : Now, now, you are going on a completely 
              different trip here.
Kahuna      : Nonsense, you brought bondage into the 
              proceedings.
Darth Teddy : Between you and your phone! Nothing to do 
              with me; I am just supplying the leash.
Kahuna      : Bah, that's how it all starts: by 
              supplying the leash. Next it'll be the 
              collar and god knows what else X-(
Darth Teddy : Nonsense! These are all your initiations.
              I am the innocent party here.
Kahuna      : I never intended to tie you up BTBOTP. 
              You're hardly innocent. You're an 
              anaconda in bear's clothing X-(
Darth Teddy : Nonsense, I have multiple personalities.
Kahuna      : All attached to the same anaconda X-(
Darth Teddy : Indeed, the complete package.
Kahuna      : I rest my case.

The bears and anacondas used in this production were supplied by Darth Teddy.