TEMPLE OF KAHUNA, Jerusalem -- In a strongly-worded statement issued yesterday, Kahuna denied allegations of being involved in the moonshine business and accused the False Prophet aka El Gordo of industrial espionage. El Gordo infiltrated the premises on Sunday disguised as an agricultural expert and asked to see Kahuna's high-tech greenhouse complex. The greenhouses were between harvest cycles at the time and hence devoid of vegetation for good reason.
The agriculturist seemed unduly interested in the sophisticated array of level-triggered switches and pumps used in the complex. Suspicions were raised, however, when it transpired that the so-called expert was ignorant of the fertilization methods of tomatoes and bell peppers. The guard-dogs were released immediately to deal with the situation, but the impostors legged it and escaped before Kahuna could scramble the flying attack-porcupines. No mosquitoes, were involved in the attack although, a passing swarm expressed brief interest in the portly one.
Subsequent investigations have revealed the rationale behind the espionage mission. It has come to light that El Gordo had burned out his water pump as the water level of his well had dropped below the pump intake. Hence the interest in Kahuna's sophisticated technology including, but not limited to mercury-weighted float-switches and sprinkler systems of Israeli origin.
Kahuna promised swift retaliation, noting that the impostor's vehicle had been duly marked by His guard dogs and could now be targeted by His advanced ballistic missile system.
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