PANADURA, Sri Lanka -- A suprise raid conducted by The Real Kahuna on "Kahuna"'s premises yesterday uncovered a covert facility for the distilling of illicit liquor. The raid was conducted following the indication of a high level of activity on the spy satellite that monitors the compound. Initial suspicions were that "Kahuna" was building a "dirty" bomb despite numerous parties suggesting that his capabilities were far more limited.
The entire facility was deviously disguised as a cucumber-growing operation. However the lack of any form of vegetation in the "greenhouse" led to suspicion that there was more to the operation than met the eye.
Investigations at the hidden end of the 'greenhouse' revealed an elaborate system of tanks, pumps, filters and automated switches used for the distilling process. Attempts were made to photograph the equipment only to be met with a swarm of killer mosquitoes and guard-dogs who promptly drove us out of the premises.
It is unknown what the output of the brewery is. Although queries were made about maximum throughput, "Kahuna" refused to divulge any information. "Kahuna"'s dazed appearance at the time of the raid let to (as yet unconfirmed) speculation that he had been sampling the goods just a short while earlier.
No comments:
Post a Comment