LONDON, United Kingdom -- The International Aluminium Institute today revealed an unexpected surge in bauxite demand due to primary aluminium production being driven to record highs.
Industry analysts suspected that this was a consequence of master criminal El Gordo’s attempts at world domination being foiled once again yesterday. A spokesperson for the Institute said that El Gordo should be thwarted more often adding that “It’s good for the foil business.”
However, a highly placed industry source disagreed, saying that the bumper harvest of Idaho potatoes and Kahuna’s cheese and potato food festival was more likely the root cause behind surging demand, as consumers scrambled to bake potatoes in their jackets.
The aluminium futures markets rallied strongly at midday and Kahuna, suspected to have extensive investments in bauxite mines, was widely expected to make a killing.
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