Sunday, May 23, 2004

El Gordo Spotted in the Hills

PERADENIYA, Sri Lanka -- Unconfirmed sightings of El Gordo have been reported from this sleepy university town nestled in the hills of Sri Lanka. A person matching the de Broglie transform of El Gordo and identifying himself as Professor Gordon has been seen roaming the hallowed grounds of the university.

An eye-witness said that the bespectacled Gordon was clad in a white tee-shirt and "trying hard to look academic" as he traversed the faculty buildings in what was apparently a Hamiltonian circuit. Experts were at a loss to explain this behavior, but mused that finding such a circuit was an NP-complete problem, suggesting that more Gordon sightings were likely.

Attempts to contact the Vice Chancellor were unsuccessful, but his Gardner made a statement that given Gordon's considerable mass, he may be attempting to tip the Earth Orbit Interference (EOI) threshold by walking a Hamiltonian path. The Head of the Department of Mathematics, however, dismissed this idea as "ludicrous" and added that "We're all being taken up the garden path!" When asked if this path was also Hamiltonian, he turned a deep shade of purple and ended the interview abruptly with a series of wild hand gestures. Professor Gordon could not be located for comment.

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