False Prophet a Charlatan, Says Kahuna

KENDALIYADDAPALUWA, Ganemulla -- El Profeta Falso aka "Real Kahuna" has proven to be a charlatan without access to even the Weather Channel. The False Prophet has now begun calling the general public in different parts of the island to determine if it is raining in the locality. A tropical storm has been diverted to Kendaliyaddapaluwa to dispatch the public nuisance. He won't see it coming. Heh heh heh...