The Words of the Prophets are Written on the Subway Walls?

MANHATTAN, New York -- An unidentified man calling himself the "Real Kahuna," was taken into custody last night by officers of the Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) on charges of loitering about 34th Street-Penn Station and defacing the premises with a can of spray paint. The so-called "Real Kahuna" insisted that he was fully justified in his actions adding that the words of the prophets were allegedly written on the subway walls. Officers of the MTA apparently refused to right-justify his beliefs and locked up the perpetrator pending a court appearance later today. The can of paint has been confiscated to prevent any further prophecies manifesting themselves. A spokesman for the MTA added that while the self-styled prophet's words were certainly profane, they were hardly profound and had no serious literary merit. Attempts to reach Paul Simon have been unsuccessful.