The big question is who is trying to poison Kahuna? He does have many enemies. But he is not a serious enough threat for any party to take any action. Being a feeble and ‘small’ entity, Kahuna is unlikely to be a victim of a complex assassination attempt carried out for strategic reasons. Even if there were an assassination attempt it would be unlikely that food poisoning that caused Kahuna to be critically ill with diarrhea, would be an appropriate choice of means to accomplish the objective. I would think a simple rubber band and pellet would have knocked him out for good. Instead, the food poison only caused Kahuna to spend long periods of time in the bathroom and prevented being his usual unproductive self.

There are several possibilities. Investigations have revealed a revolutionary right-wing movement called the MORP who have been fighting to resist the invasion of Connecticut by Kahuna’s allies. But the MORP who recently ‘shock and awed’ most of the Kingdoms east of the east coast of US is probably not interested in what they deem as a trivial threat to their sovereignty. Another possibility is Kahuna is simply the subject of a biological weapons test. Several nations are suspected to have experimented with weapon that can cause severe diarrhea. It is possible that Kahuna may have been a random victim of such an experiment. Another convincing theory that has surfaced is that the attempt to poison Kahuna may have been carried out by his own allies for amusement (which obviously seem to be lacking as proved by this blog) The most likely reason however, the attempt was simply to eliminate Kahuna to improve the average intelligence of the collective alliance.