REPUBLIC OF BOSTON, Former Massachusetts -- The Powers that Be headed by Kahuna acknowledges the thanks from the good citizens of the Bogusan Empire. The Silence of El Gordo was accomplished using the tried-and-tested Eä() function call, first spoken by Illuvatar. Analysts now believe that the initial discord in the Music of the Ainur giving rise to evil in the World was due to El Gordo playing the Holy Bongo off-key, while attempting the more complex contortions described in the Karma Sutra. It was pointed out that Melkor was previously suspected of this foul deed and cast into the Void in what appears to be a monumental miscarriage of justice.