KAHUNA'S RETREAT, Tahiti -- Yes, according to empirical evidence, bestiality is not consensual. In fact, the sheep were seen chasing Vandoofus all over the field and a Wide Area Border Collie had to be brought in to restore order. Justice Scalia can rest assured that Vandoofus did not consent. Now that we've got to the bottom of this sordid matter, we hope it can be laid to rest.